Laina, my dog, eats grass and a lot of it. I have no idea why she does it and I have not really seen many other dogs eat as much grass as she does. In fact her nickname is "brown cow." It must be an ingrained habit, maybe it was way she satiated her thirst as a puppy because she was deprived of water, or maybe she has just always found that grass had a sapid quality to it. Whatever the reason, I am not Laina, so I will never know or understand why she does it. It is something I have to live with and accept. Now granted, I am talking about a dog so I should not understand, but the underlying principle is that she is different and no I should not understand. But not understanding someone or something does not mean we can not be sympathetic or empathetic to their cause.
It is with this idea in mind, that I dedicate this blog to the UC Berkeley Republicans. You might have heard about their bake sale designed to mock the attributes of affirmative action. Not only was this idea ludicrous and offensive, rightly so to many, it also highlights this student group's complete inability to remotely understand the differences and circumstances of others. By adding the story of my dog, I hoped to make a simple comparison that even the Berkeley Republicans could understand, by using an animal I hope to quietly make a point about how this reflects their feeling about humanity in general. (oops, that cat's out of the bag) So in anticipation of the fact that they still might not get it, I am going to make a short business plan (that is what young republicans specialize in usually anyways right?) highlighting my Reverse Affirmative Action Bake Sale, right here on my blog below. (haha I have no idea how to make a business plan, I am a humanities person) So, here goes:
I will only sell Red Velvet Cupcakes and the base price will be $5.00, depending on which how much ease you live your life, that value will be subtracted from the cupcakes to display the advantages you are so lucky to receive in your quest for the top-
Some background info on Berkeley's undergraduate student body from Fall 2010- 53% are women and 47% are men, 4% were Black, 1% Native American, a whopping 43% were Asian, 13% Hispanic, 33% White, and 8% ethnicity unknown.86% were from California. Yearly tuition this year is +$34,000. GPA range for freshman are 3.76-4.0
So if you are a White or Asian male or female, take off $.50, you most like come from a suburban school, so, minus another $.50 for that, outfitted with modern technology and all of your needs.
White Black Asian Hispanic American Indian Other
Cupcake Price 4.00 5.00 4.00 5.00 5.00 5.00
Take off another $.50 if you are NOT a first generation college student, and another $.50 if you are NOT receiving a Pell Grant because you are poor.
White Black Asian Hispanic American Indian Other
Cupcake Price 3.00 5.00 3.00 5.00 5.00 5.00
Now, lets add $.50 if you grew up in a single parent household, another $.50 if you are a first generation college student. We will top that off with another $.50 if you are the only one in your household who speaks English, and another $.50 if you went to a ghetto urban school where you were fearful on your walk to or from school.
White Black Asian Hispanic American Indian Other
Cupcake Price 3.00 6.50 3.50-4.00 7.00 6.50 6.50
Now obviously this a rough projection, since I have other things to do, like listen to NPR and make croissants in my kitchen, in a good neighborhood, on a lake in relative comfort. Anyways my comfortableness is besides the point, what is the point is the price difference in my demonstration. I think it too nice. I could add in a comparison of unemployment rates relative to Berkeley's stats, along with medicare and medicaid rates, etc.. I think African Americans and Hispanics find it more than just 2x harder to get by than their white suburban counterparts. But to argue that they are granted equal opportunities as you, Berkeley Republicans, is just laughable. To suggest that their road to Berkeley is paved in gold is an insult to them, their mentors, families, and in general humanity. It is delusional to think that you are being discriminated, that your life is harder. America is the land of opportunity for everyone, not just those who have an easy way to get there. It is the accessibility of the opportunity that is at stake, not their ability or relative success at getting through that opportunity. So the next time you decided that your snarky little experiment is a good idea, why don't you head over to LA and visit and inner city school and then tell me you are right.
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