Politics aside, this is not about ideology or what each side perceives to be the right course of action, it is simply about our moral and ethical obligations to treat our fellow countrymen with dignity and respect because, it seems we have become a nation of assholes and it also seems that we are not only OK with it, we reward it. Yes, this post was inspired by the recent comments former Mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani, about how our President, who was voted into office two times by a majority of Americans and by extension that majority should also be offended because it seems we are all dumb enough to get duped into voting the man, does not love America, etc, etc, etc....a bunch of negative crap that neither does anything to help nor solve any problems. But it does do something and this what this blog is about.
For one thing, when he and other fringe politicos from the right and left say things as such, the worst of what they are doing is affirming certain peoples suspicions (regardless of how untrue they might be), beliefs, ideas, and most horribly their anger. My issues then is where does it stop? How can we be so sure that our entrenched beliefs and now anger does not turn into some monstrous form of hate. Hatred for a group of people whose only crime is not being exactly like the other group for whatever reason or another. Now, we as humans have a sorted history of pogroms, pitchfork wielding mobs, burning people at the stake, lynching, beheading, and worst of all GENOCIDE. Yeah, not only once or twice either. It took years of resentment and one asshole on the radio to set off a whole entire group of people in Rwanda in 1994 resulting in the death of more than 500,000 people. You know what he was doing on the radio?? Affirming one groups anger, hatred, suspicion and belief about another group of people with words. Powerful words filled with contempt and rage. You think Americans are too smart to fall for something like that? What happened in 1938 when Orson Welles narrated his story War of the Worlds? That was an unbelievable fictional story. When you hear the same thing day in and day out, it becomes reality, period.
Secondly when politicians spew venom, dagger of hatred and shade towards one another they are rewarded, by us. We give them support and we give them money. Money they do not deserve. This reinforces their behavior. How much did people pay to sit at that dinner with Giuliani and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker? Not only are they rewarded monetarily for this, we have a whole entire media industry that is paid to do this. Paid to create and promote some of the most negative awful proliferation of purely useless shade ever. It is so similar to the Nazi propaganda office BS it is vomit inducing. Furthermore, we support each other in our personal endeavors of damning the other on Facebook, on Instagram, Tweeting and what have you. It drives me crazy. Do we all have to believe the same thing, feel the same way, act the same way? No. But we do not have to be jerks about. Listen if you don't like Starbucks that is fine, who cares right? But we don't have to criticize people who actually go to Starbucks in our tirades on the inter-web. You prefer Dunkin Doughnuts over Krispy Kreme, awesome, you do not have to start a war in the comments section about how all the people who eat Krispy Kreme are devil worshiping ignoramuses hell bent on destroying our communities. They just like a warm free doughnut when the light is on. But, when we attack on a personal level there will always be people agreeing with us, affirming our beliefs after we affirmed their similar sneaking suspicions. And we wonder why we have a bullying problem with our children. Name calling and personal attacks are nothing but bullying with a different name. Because I prefer Starbucks over a gas station coffee does not make me crazy or snobby, it just means that I prefer Starbucks coffee over Kwik Trip.
That line of thinking leads me to my next point about how damaging this idea is to our country and society as a whole. Ironically it leads me to believe that these politicians and pundits have zero faith in our governing system. Our founding fathers created a government that has been touted for centuries, and rightly so, that is meant to protect us from tyranny and corruption. If you truly believe that our President of the United States Of America does not "love America enough" or is a dangerous communist hell bent on dismantling all that makes our country what it is what you are doing, aside from insulting everyone who holds similar beliefs and ideas, is projecting that the foundations of our government do not work. It reflects zero trust in our system and that is the fatal flaw. You logically cannot, in the same breath crow about how great the American system of government is, then say our country is in danger of being taken over by an anti-Christ, un-American President, whose office is only designed to hold as much power, if not less than our United States Congress and Supreme Court. There is nothing more anti-American than not believing in our system.
Lastly and most stinging is that its insulting and because of that we deserve better. All of us, it does not matter what political spectrum you hail from. We deserve politicians and political candidates, who get paid a lot of money mind you, who are bright enough and articulate enough to hold their own in a debate or speech without getting personally nasty towards another candidate or whole political party. Debating ideas and your particular ideologue in a constructive and conducive way is the only way things should be handled. Personally I would give more money and support to anyone of any political party who actually has enough common decency to be gracious for the position they are in, to be productive with their speech and criticism, and who understands that America has real problems to solve that do not benefit nor require juvenile name calling or spitting daggers directed in a personal nature. What is happening is the most vile ploy known to man. It is the proverbial selling of the soul to the devil for what you want, but it will come at a price. Just because it seems to be the easy way of getting what you want does not make it the right way. I am not a praying woman, but if I was, I would pray to God that this trend ends because it is doing nothing at all to help our country. A country that thousands of men and women have laid their life down with honor for. With free speech comes the ethical and the moral responsibility to use it correctly and might I add productively.
Me
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
Dedicated to my DOLFs-Deisgnated Obviously Large Friends: The Taller The Better
Ahhhh, I have not written in a long time. I think sometimes when people are so intensely into their issues in our world (vaccinations, how much we hate each other, terrorism, the like), it definitely puts me off writing. It feels futile in our vehemently "I am right!" society (regardless if we are right, we are always mother f*@&ing right). Anyways, I have also been traveling, spending 3 glorious weeks in Australia. It was glorious because not only are Australians laid back, fun, fantastic, and never assume they are always right. But, there are some seriously and gorgeously tall women! And on the heels of the announcement of Robin Lawley as a new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model (that hottie is 6'2'', a size 12 and Australian ) I am dedicating this post to all of my DOLFs out there. That's right, I am starting a new acronym for us, Designated Obviously Large Friend. This is in response to the new it term DUFF, Designated Ugly Fat Friend. A heinous attempt by Hollywood to makes light of the way we feel about each other and ourselves maybe? Anyways, if DUFFs are getting the spotlight, why can't DOLFs? Because face it, everyone out there has that tall friend. "Oh yeah, that one tall girl that was at my party, yeah her name is Shannon." or "Oh, well since you are so tall, and he is so tall, you have to be paired up as in the bridesmaid and groomsmen lines." "Omg you are not wearing heels tonight are you? Now you are going to be way taller than me!"
Here is my list of why us DOLFs need our own designation and spotlight!
1. DUFFs are totally average. All clothing and marketing is designed for them or their prettier average size friends (I am not sure what we are supposed to refer everyone else to) and their petite friends as well. DOLF's are 5'9'' and taller, size 6 and beyond. Clearly we look larger than the average female because we are also taller than a lot of the guys out there, hence average American male 5'8''. Growing up tall, gangly, clumsy and dealing with all the other teenage crap was difficult for many of us. I did not know that I might be slightly attractive to men until I went to Europe at the age of 22, it was the first time I had drinks bought for me. (A few years later my volleyball teammates at a bachelorette party ran into a professional sports team and lets just say....again it was nice to be appreciated for our height ;) ) American men have serious issues with tall women. Ask any girl who might be a DOLF how they feel when they see a 6'5'' guy bending down to kiss his 5'4'' girlfriend. What a waste of resources. Here is a shout out to any DOLF who has had to bend down to kiss their boyfriend or partner!! That my friends is confidence and love.
2. People assume that because we are tall, we are a size L. Try being 6' tall, with no boobs, but with broad shoulders. Yeah, nothing fits. Some of us are L's but others are M's and some could probably be an S, but god forbid any of those sizes but the L or XL will actually fit the one spot cloths never fit, our "linebacker" shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I love my shoulders, and all DOLFs shoulers. I find them strong looking, like Robin Lawley, they are awesome and powerful. But, I will admit, can be ridiculous looking in halter tops and shirts where the seam is half way between neck and shoulder. Not even mentioning sleeve issues here, that deserves a post on its own. Not only that, we have to contend with high water pants and maxi dresses constantly. Though more places now carry a long sizes, it is still hard since teenage goths are still keen on wearing pants that are way too long. Then there are the girls who are 5'7'' and think they need a 34'' inseam, bitch please. So there are still not enough "long" or "tall" clothing for women. Despite those clothing designations being picked apart like road kill by a vultures, there still remains a pristine hardly touched petite section. They get a whole damn section for themselves, despite America's over-weight and obesity rates. Is anyone else as confounded by this as I? If you know me, all I want to do is wear a jumpsuit or romper, with out a giant wedgie and camel toe, without my ass cheeks showing. Just like other women.
3. This brings me to the heels. I know many Obviously Large women who love to wear heals, myself for one, my 6'2'' sister and 6'2'' college volleyball teammate. Despite being a head taller than a majority of the places we go, I am still going to put on those heels. As a side note to all you men who think you are being smart when you walk by us, pause a beat, giggle and continue walking, yeah we know what you are doing. Ha ha yeah...we are so freakishly large. It is funny isn't it? Here is a secret, we use our high heels to detect all the douche bags in the bar and congratulations, you passed the douche bag test!! Go back to your average size woman, or maybe you are taking home the DUFF tonight. Awesome for you, keep staying mediocre. Because we are above average, literally. Which brings me to my last point.
4. Now, it is not that I do not love my shorter average size friends and family members. I do, but what you need to realize is that even though we may not have been DUFFs, most DOLFs were also not the "pretty ones" of the group either. It is hard to always feel normal or part of the group when you feel so out of place. At the age of 32 to hear "That's a huge bitch" no longer fazes me, in fact I laugh, but it didn't feel good at age 21. We are the butt of jokes, because when you are head and shoulders taller than everyone else, it is kind of funny, but do not tell that to a 5'11 16 year old. Which is why I am celebrating all the success of Robin Lawely, Ahsley Graham at 5'9'', and my favorite Myla Dalbesio who is 5'11''. The reason why I am loving them is because, unfortunately so many are not. Because they are larger than the average woman, overall, they are labeled differently than other models. However, they harken back to a time when being a model mean being strong, athletic, healthy looking and tall. Because the average American woman is now a size 14, with a 36 inch waist, and no where near 5'9'' even, the women are not deemed "normal" or "average enough" to represent the "real American woman." As indicated here, http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/05/calling-bs-on-our-plus-size-obsession.html, here http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/11/11/calvin-klein-plus-size-model-controversy/18843537/, here http://runway.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/11/10/calvin-klein-gets-a-plus-size-controversy-over-myla-dalbesio/?_r=0, and here http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/05/sports-illustrated-swimsuit-issue-plus-size-model. In essence, us taller and larger than average girls still can't win.We still can't fit in. There still is no place at the table.
It took me too many years to love being tall. Too much teenage angst, too many feelings of wishing I was not made the way I was. Everyone has body issues these days and we seem to feel confident in trashing people who are not exactly like us. The term DUFF is disgusting, it should not be glorified by people in Hollywood, or anywhere for that matter. I have zero Designated Ugly Fat Friends, because that term does not exist in normal peoples minds and no one should ever feel that they fit that description. It is hard feeling left out because of appearances, to be solely judged on them ("Hey do you play basketball, you are so tall you must play something?") There is beauty in everyone, regardless of size, or shape. Yes, we can be a little jealous, but let that jealousy lead to respect or admiration. And don't ever let the way someone else looks be a deciding factor in how we see ourselves. Just because someone is 5'6'' and someone else 6'1'' does not mean they do not struggle with something,, though someone 5'6'' can fit into a jumpsuit :(
And for the shorter girl at the concert, bitching because she is standing behind me, and "OMG she is ridiculously tall and should not be standing so near the front, she better not think it is OK for her to stand there", tough go sit on your 6'7'' boyfriends shoulders. To the guys at the bar thinking you are being "stealth" comparing yourself to the "that one tall bitch," we can sense your weakness like a lion senses fear. That is what I want all larger tall teenage girls to understand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bznxx12Ptl0 (NSFW but great song for when I feel crapped on :) I am an albatross, larger than the average bird)
Here is my list of why us DOLFs need our own designation and spotlight!
1. DUFFs are totally average. All clothing and marketing is designed for them or their prettier average size friends (I am not sure what we are supposed to refer everyone else to) and their petite friends as well. DOLF's are 5'9'' and taller, size 6 and beyond. Clearly we look larger than the average female because we are also taller than a lot of the guys out there, hence average American male 5'8''. Growing up tall, gangly, clumsy and dealing with all the other teenage crap was difficult for many of us. I did not know that I might be slightly attractive to men until I went to Europe at the age of 22, it was the first time I had drinks bought for me. (A few years later my volleyball teammates at a bachelorette party ran into a professional sports team and lets just say....again it was nice to be appreciated for our height ;) ) American men have serious issues with tall women. Ask any girl who might be a DOLF how they feel when they see a 6'5'' guy bending down to kiss his 5'4'' girlfriend. What a waste of resources. Here is a shout out to any DOLF who has had to bend down to kiss their boyfriend or partner!! That my friends is confidence and love.
2. People assume that because we are tall, we are a size L. Try being 6' tall, with no boobs, but with broad shoulders. Yeah, nothing fits. Some of us are L's but others are M's and some could probably be an S, but god forbid any of those sizes but the L or XL will actually fit the one spot cloths never fit, our "linebacker" shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I love my shoulders, and all DOLFs shoulers. I find them strong looking, like Robin Lawley, they are awesome and powerful. But, I will admit, can be ridiculous looking in halter tops and shirts where the seam is half way between neck and shoulder. Not even mentioning sleeve issues here, that deserves a post on its own. Not only that, we have to contend with high water pants and maxi dresses constantly. Though more places now carry a long sizes, it is still hard since teenage goths are still keen on wearing pants that are way too long. Then there are the girls who are 5'7'' and think they need a 34'' inseam, bitch please. So there are still not enough "long" or "tall" clothing for women. Despite those clothing designations being picked apart like road kill by a vultures, there still remains a pristine hardly touched petite section. They get a whole damn section for themselves, despite America's over-weight and obesity rates. Is anyone else as confounded by this as I? If you know me, all I want to do is wear a jumpsuit or romper, with out a giant wedgie and camel toe, without my ass cheeks showing. Just like other women.
3. This brings me to the heels. I know many Obviously Large women who love to wear heals, myself for one, my 6'2'' sister and 6'2'' college volleyball teammate. Despite being a head taller than a majority of the places we go, I am still going to put on those heels. As a side note to all you men who think you are being smart when you walk by us, pause a beat, giggle and continue walking, yeah we know what you are doing. Ha ha yeah...we are so freakishly large. It is funny isn't it? Here is a secret, we use our high heels to detect all the douche bags in the bar and congratulations, you passed the douche bag test!! Go back to your average size woman, or maybe you are taking home the DUFF tonight. Awesome for you, keep staying mediocre. Because we are above average, literally. Which brings me to my last point.
4. Now, it is not that I do not love my shorter average size friends and family members. I do, but what you need to realize is that even though we may not have been DUFFs, most DOLFs were also not the "pretty ones" of the group either. It is hard to always feel normal or part of the group when you feel so out of place. At the age of 32 to hear "That's a huge bitch" no longer fazes me, in fact I laugh, but it didn't feel good at age 21. We are the butt of jokes, because when you are head and shoulders taller than everyone else, it is kind of funny, but do not tell that to a 5'11 16 year old. Which is why I am celebrating all the success of Robin Lawely, Ahsley Graham at 5'9'', and my favorite Myla Dalbesio who is 5'11''. The reason why I am loving them is because, unfortunately so many are not. Because they are larger than the average woman, overall, they are labeled differently than other models. However, they harken back to a time when being a model mean being strong, athletic, healthy looking and tall. Because the average American woman is now a size 14, with a 36 inch waist, and no where near 5'9'' even, the women are not deemed "normal" or "average enough" to represent the "real American woman." As indicated here, http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/05/calling-bs-on-our-plus-size-obsession.html, here http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/11/11/calvin-klein-plus-size-model-controversy/18843537/, here http://runway.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/11/10/calvin-klein-gets-a-plus-size-controversy-over-myla-dalbesio/?_r=0, and here http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/05/sports-illustrated-swimsuit-issue-plus-size-model. In essence, us taller and larger than average girls still can't win.We still can't fit in. There still is no place at the table.
It took me too many years to love being tall. Too much teenage angst, too many feelings of wishing I was not made the way I was. Everyone has body issues these days and we seem to feel confident in trashing people who are not exactly like us. The term DUFF is disgusting, it should not be glorified by people in Hollywood, or anywhere for that matter. I have zero Designated Ugly Fat Friends, because that term does not exist in normal peoples minds and no one should ever feel that they fit that description. It is hard feeling left out because of appearances, to be solely judged on them ("Hey do you play basketball, you are so tall you must play something?") There is beauty in everyone, regardless of size, or shape. Yes, we can be a little jealous, but let that jealousy lead to respect or admiration. And don't ever let the way someone else looks be a deciding factor in how we see ourselves. Just because someone is 5'6'' and someone else 6'1'' does not mean they do not struggle with something,, though someone 5'6'' can fit into a jumpsuit :(
And for the shorter girl at the concert, bitching because she is standing behind me, and "OMG she is ridiculously tall and should not be standing so near the front, she better not think it is OK for her to stand there", tough go sit on your 6'7'' boyfriends shoulders. To the guys at the bar thinking you are being "stealth" comparing yourself to the "that one tall bitch," we can sense your weakness like a lion senses fear. That is what I want all larger tall teenage girls to understand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bznxx12Ptl0 (NSFW but great song for when I feel crapped on :) I am an albatross, larger than the average bird)
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