In regards to today's upcoming Supreme Court review of California's Proposition 8, I felt like certain issues needed to be put into perspective. On my way to work as I was listening to NPR sum up both sides' arguments, it was impossible for me to accept the main argument of those who support the ban on gay marriage. As a married heterosexual who has zero desire to "create" children, knowing many people who want children but are unable to have them, and working with children in general, bringing them into the argument against gay marriage is perhaps the most absurd logic for myself personally. The whole marriage is what it is today because people have gotten married for pro-creation purposes is offending to all of us who have loving partners, whatever sexual orientation, who might not have children by design or by choice. I married my husband because he is my partner, best friend, and in general, my one person. I want him to be my "in case of emergency." I chose him because I want it to be him when I have to face all of life's trials and tribulation, just like anyone else who chooses a partner. Life sucks a lot of the time and everyone deserves the ability to chose the person they so desire to navigate the good times and the bad.
Additionally, anyone who works in our educational systems or works with children can plainly see if they have love and support they flourish, period. So, here is where my problem lies. What is to fear from a homosexual relationship when it comes to their kids and our kids? I can't figure it out. Are we scared the Brad and Chad will dress little Johnny in too much pink causing him to, ahem, become gay like Brad and Chad? They have no more ability to "turn" little Johnny gay, than their own parents did in trying to "turn" them straight. Or are they afraid that Susan and Pat will cause little Johnny to become angry and resentful because there was no father figure to teach him how to throw a football? I am sorry, but in my relationship with my husband, I am the one who is more well rounded in sports. I will be the one teaching little Johnny how to throw. If not me, then either one of his 2 grandfathers will do, or 5 uncles and we are not the only one who has brothers and sisters out there.
But here is the point that is so mind bogglingly frustrating for myself. There are a host of issues that threaten our children for real, everyday that are not getting any attention whatsoever. For example, the general dumbing down and lowering of expectations of our children that is a by product of our own obsessive materialism. We applaud people with money and things regardless of how they got them or achieved success. Some great examples, the salaries of the teenage mothers on "Teen Mom" or the success of shows like "Jersey Shore" or "Buck Wild." (Did the whole possession of heroine, hillbilly heroin, or meth whatever it was surprise us?) We rarely look up to people with real business or academic acumen unless they sell themselves out somehow.
Furthermore, I am more prone to worry (obsessively so actually) about our endemic drug culture, rampant poverty, and vicious gun violence that many of our children live in everyday. Brad and Chad look a lot better than a strung out mother or father. Susan and Pat's suburban home is probably a little more comfortable than the Englewood neighborhood on Chicago's west side. If you did not get a chance to listen to the Harper High School feature on "This American Life" I suggest you do so. You would have learned about the school trying to deal with the fact that 29 students or former students were shot in one year. Or heard the sobering statistic from the Miami-Dade superintendent, "Over the past four and a half years, I have buried or attended viewings
for 44 children who have died violent deaths right here in our
community."
With everything that we know going on out there today, I am not only confused but angry that this is the issue many have decided to "fall on their sword" for. I want to protect our children from the real and prominent dangers out there. There are real guns and gangs shooting kids. There are real problems with illegal drugs and prescription drugs. Also, in the years since the recession began in 2008 it is hard to step away from the problems with poverty in this country. Why do we not fight these social ills with the vigorous fervor that those who oppose gay marriage fight with? I worry more about the kids who walk to school in the winter with out a proper coat, than I do about the little Johnny in his top of the line North Face gear who has two moms or two dads. These are the real issues. The great thing, is that if a kid has love and support, they can overcome a lot. It does not matter what gender that love comes from, be it a mom and a dad, two dads, or two moms. Every kid deserves security and safety period.
