If I picture myself having a teenage child (and before you get all holy on me, yes all I can do is imagine and I am very well aware that it is totally different than experiencing so no need to lecture me on not "knowing.") I imagine myself being very laid back, but clear in my expectations, like a french parent. The last time we visited France, we stayed with wonderful friends who had teenage sons at the time. The oldest having spent his adolescence in America, was greatly enjoying the perks of being a youth en France. Room to explore and mess up, yet possessing a restrained and pragmatic responsibility. ( I attribute this to their ridiculously deep curriculum and amazingly mature expectations from most adults involved in their lives) Not that is a perfect notion for everyone, I thoroughly enjoyed the short time we were there watching him navigate fairly successfully this new terrain, but, his parents were French so of course. With freedom comes expectations, and these kids clearly understood the deal. Funny, but, it is kind of how Cher Horowitz in "Clueless" behaves and understands the world. Summed up best when she drops this actually poignant line to her friend about drugs. "It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day." That sentiment can be applied to everything and anything. It is a fine line for children lacking fully developed brains to comprehend, there for as adults, we simply have to take the lead, teach, and be authority figures.
I say this from a place of love, of worry, and of complete and total annoyance. For any adult who frequents the music scene, the sight of teenagers at shows and festivals has become so prevalent you sometimes wonder if you accidentally happened upon a One Direction concert. Low and behold you are then completely bowled over by much of their behavior, the fact that they are unsupervised, only compounded by what their parents actually let them leave the house dressed like Julia Robers in "Pretty Woman" and not after the rich guy buys her a new wardrobe. Neigh, these are not dens of sin or mass orgies, but they are certainly not wholesome either. For example last night, I attended a show with my sister-in-law ans her husband where there were 5 bands playing. By the time the 5th and final band made it out, not only was in 11:30 pm on a school night, the lead singer was so trashed and high there were parts of songs he could not even muster enough "together-ness" to sing. We could not ever pin-point what he possibly could have been on. He was up, down and all around. Additionally, there was enough magical smoke wafting around to induce even the most practiced burn-out into a slight high. Multiple fights almost broke out, liquor was flowing and here is what gets me, parents of teenage girls, there are very much predictors attending these events. If I know this problem exist, you best believe they look forward to it. Teenage girls in their short, high waist shorts, replete with crop or bra top, (surprisingly winter or summer) drunk on stolen liquor (probably from your own cabinets) losing all sense of control or awareness of their surroundings. If I was a male or female pervert I would be there loving every second of it looking for my next victim. It bothers me intensely that these teenagers, behaving irresponsibly are left to fend for themselves. WE HAVE A RAPE CULTURE PROBLEM FROM HIGH SCHOOL ON PEOPLE!
I am not easily shocked nor impressed by other people and their behavior. I also get that kids will be kids, if you knew me in high school. But, last summer was my first and last time at Lollapalooza, despite knowing and loving most of the bands that play. I will never spend that much money only to encounter the teenage debauchery that currently resides at that festival. It is not isolated, it infiltrates Grant Park the whole time. From the idiots openly smoking a joint, to those so drunk they pee and vomit on themselves, nary a parental unit in sight. Just last night a group of what looked to be your typical suburban lanky blonds, decked out in teenager mandatory show uniform, were kindly escorted out by security after their drunken antics alienated everyone surrounding them. I tell you, if I got that call at 10:30 on a school night you better believe that daughter will not see the light of day except to and from school until well into the new year. Here is the thing, they were warned multiple times, by multiple adults surrounding them that if they did not amend their behavior action would be taken. It was answered with a scoff and eye-roll. They clearly have not seen "Clueless", nor were raised by the French. They were obtuse. They were obtuse because they are teenagers. They are obtuse because they do not have fully developed brains and they need guidance, no matter how much they believe otherwise. I cannot impart enough that we need to stop being friends with our teenage population and start behaving like the authority figures we as adults are. Had I or any adult surround those kids been of a different mindset, their parents would have gotten a much different call at the end of the night.
There were examples of amazingly behaved teenagers who were at the show last night, as well as many other shows I have been to, who are clearly there for the music. They keep to themselves, they are aware and are getting an amazing experience. There were also parents present clearly accompanying minors, but for everyone of those there is a group with no supervision behaving so stupid it is surprising evolution has not swooped in yet. Even if you have the best teenager in the world, you cannot control what other people do around them, but we can do a better job of preparing them to remain safe and I am just not seeing that. You cannot give freedom without guidance and expectation. I am not sure what grinds me the most, the fact that I am paying for my ticket and would like to enjoy the show without seeing a teenager on the verge of being assaulted, vomiting on themselves, talking loudly, taking selfies and not listening to the show. Or the notion that Mom and Dad willingly bought them a ticket, sent them on their way, oblivious to the dangers of a standing room only, general admission show, especially when the teenage son or daughter has every intention of getting completely plowed during their outing. It is one thing (though totally not much better) to drop your kiddie off at a stadium show with assigned seats, but it is another to let them roam around pit of sweating, inebriated bodies with reckless drunken abandon. I truly feel like parents in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs believe the two weekends Lollapalooza comes to town is an awesome vacation for them without their kids. Get them their weekend passes, send them on a train with a hundo, and let them fend for themselves. I was an awful teenager, by all means there was no perfection from me, but my mother and father just said NO because they knew me. Which is why I am pretty sure I am where I am today. Alive with not much mental damage. When I got to college my freshman year, my older sister also kindly told me NO to many things I wanted to do. I will leave you with a saying from her, it was a night that I wanted her to go to a bar I could sneak into, instead of the more strict one her and her friends were going to, it has stuck with me for the rest of my life. "Sometimes there are things in life that you want to do, that you just cannot or have to wait for."
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