A lot of people have been writing about the subject of values and morals lately, so I understand it is an over done topic. However, after my last two weeks, a discussion with my father, and a lot of self-reflection, I was able to come to my own conclusion, though as of today, it is of little solace. Right now the only job I can get is substitute teaching. If I was not married to the best husband in the world, I would not even come close to being able to support myself. There is nothing I want more than a "real" job, a career, where I can feel like I have a purpose, and contribute to my families finances in a meaningful way. That would be ideal, but right now I feel like I am being responsible by taking whatever work I can get. For many it still is not good enough, regularly pointed out by statements from public figures, and just people in general on places like Facebook or the editorials.
On days that I get to work, I wake up and drive to the school. When the bell rings, the torture begins. "Quiet down, sit in your assigned seats so I can take attendance." After that there is usually a tense moment, like two dogs meeting for the first time and they are measuring each others weaknesses. I do not flinch, I am a little tougher than most, which comes from my years as an athlete, taking regular abuse from coaches. Inevitably they get restless, and this is where the problem lies. If they ask me to go to the bathroom or get a drink, 9 times out of 10 I will say yes. If they ask if they can sit wherever they want, I bargain with them. "If you guys work quietly, then for the last half you can sit where ever you want." More often than not, recently, I have been getting push back from the students, simply for asking them to act like, well decent students. If I received $5 for every time I was called a "bitch" by one of my students for not letting them do whatever they want when they want to do it, I would be able to retire early, without ever even having a real career. I get that no one respects substitute teachers, especially when so many do not even respect regular teachers. Now I realize it is not even just respecting teachers, it also respecting doctors, lawyers, police officers, or the waitress at your neighborhood restaurant. We do not respect each other period. We all know better than everyone else, and guess what? That attitude is rubbing off on our children. Why would they respect anyone, when their parents do not respect anyone?
The idea that we are constantly trying to screw or dig on one other is over-rampant. "The teacher is just picking on my kid, know one knows my kid better than I do!" To these parents I would love to ask, do you know how your kid acts with 30 other kids, is that a dynamic you are familiar with, then do you know your child's group of friends better than anyone else? "What does that doctor know, they are just in it for the money, same with the lawyer." Are you going to diagnose yourself and represent yourself in court, since you know more than them? My favorite though has always been the waitress thing. Being an over-educated waitress myself, it is not hard to understand why we need to have a drink after our shift ends. The scenario goes something like this: I walk up to a table of 4, who sat at a table for 6, at the old martini lounge I used to work at. I take their drink orders, come back with them, take their food orders. Writing nothing down, I nod at the last order. Out of one of the ladies mouth, "Um...don't you have to write this down or something? We don't really have time for you to mess up our order." After checking the urge to slap her across the face, I calmly respond, that, being a history and art history majors, I am pretty much expected to remember the history of whole world. I then explain that because of this, I probably have the ability to remember their 4 orders for the 1 minute it takes me to walk to the computer and enter their requests. Needless to say, her husband tipped me very graciously that night. However, I cannot help but wonder, if it is one of her kids that calls me a "bitch" on a regular basis.
Face it we are nasty to one another. We are so judgmental, ready to pounce on someone with an "I told you so." We love to point out others alleged mistakes, even if said actor does not even think they have made a mistake. What is completely ironic and ridiculous is that we understand our culture to be a completely individualistic society. It is something America has prided itself on, just watch an old western or read an American classic book. For taking pride in our individualism, we sure are quick to stick our noses where they do not belong. We seem to relish in causing pain for others, pointing out others faults, "AHA!" and take a sick pride in all these "Got ya!" moments. Whatever we can do to prove that we are better than others are eagerly sought after. We are being swallowed by our greedy ambition to always seek and prove our worth above all others. Sadly it is being reflected in our youth. As much as I love catching up with old friends on Facebook, I equally hate it for letting others put me down for my decisions or life in general. I hate than nobody stands up to this behavior, except maybe Paul Krugman in his article today. Honestly, ask yourself, what have you done today to make someone feel good or bad. Are you addicted to pointing out other people flaws, regardless of the fact that you might not know what life has thrown at different people. Can you see beyond your own nose, or are you so high on yourself that this post is making your blood boil? Christians often say that only Jesus was perfect. I tend to believe them when they say this, and I wonder, if Americans have forgotten this.
No comments:
Post a Comment