I usually save my Wednesday's for the mid-week feelings of self-loathing and despair. You know it is almost Thursday, one day from Friday and the freedom of the weekend. It is where you see that all your efforts from Monday and Tuesday have not paid off and it feels like you are back at square one. The Joe vs the Volcano rat race us Americans absolutely adore, the safety and drudgery of the day to day grind is at its peak. I am pretty sure it is the reason Wino Wednesday's were invented, it is the perfect self-loathing drink. It makes you feel intelligent and sophisticated when you are not, increasing your confidence for the remainder of the week. You might go to work hungover on Thursday but, damn it, there was a break through last night and as you swished that wine in your mouth, trying to find all the floral and fruity notes, you thought to yourself, "I am better than this" and off you went back to the grind Thursday morning. Rejuvenated from the bullshit you were able to feed yourself the night before about actually being able to taste the floral and fruity notes. But, not today my friends. This Wednesday I find myself full of incredulity.
in·cre·du·li·ty
ˌinkrəˈd(y)o͞olədē/
noun
noun: incredulity
the state of being unwilling or unable to believe something.
It is a feeling we all know too well. In fact my brother-in-law and I often go round and round about our incredulous feelings about how someone so dumb could be so rich, or how so many people in Chicago apparently make shit-loads of money when they can't even parallel park their G-Wagon or drive properly. The fact that an 18/19 year old reality star makes so much money simply off her name she is trying to trademark it despite a visible lack of any real talent. You know, those little things that are so contradictory it drives you insane. The amazing guy with a basic woman, the amazing woman with an asshole of a guy, the amazing ability of your chronically unemployed neighbor, who still drinks milk from a carton, to go about life like he is even remotely normal. All of it is just so hard to believe sometimes, it honestly makes me wonder if I am slowly going insane. The kind where you do not know you are crazy, like Leo ala Shutter Island.
Just today for example, my husband told me that at his work they remodeled a floor of offices and did not replace the garbage cans at the desks. Apparently they just throw the garbage on the floor, I found this concept insane...according to him I am in the minority. A girl pulled over with over 100 pounds of marijuana in her car, along with countless edibles, only given 2 years probation and a thousand dollar fine. Trump and Cruz are the leading Republican nominees. I mean for God's sake, The Bachelor is actually still on air and the Real Housewives are still a thing. The list goes on and on and on. All of this is compounded by ridiculous Facebook posts and other social media platforms where we are not even humble bragging anymore but out right bragging and people love it. They eat it up. I truly believe some days that I am just not meant for these times. Everything is taken to the extreme and has high stakes consequences all with little meaning.
We are not living in reality in any sense of the word. I am tired of wading around in the shallow end of the pool, but it is easier to keep the masses there. I am incredulous about all the above, but also at the idea that it is easier for us to be so flippant about our world it sometimes feels like we are living in a Cringe Comedy movie. I think back 20 years and Jerry Seinfeld hit the nail on the head, people want a show about nothing, it is such a metaphor for life. It is not that things have to necessarily be heavy or deep all the time, but if you truly believe in a higher power or karma you should be worried. Because it feels like the inmates are running the asylum and they are getting rewarded on top of it and it is because we are drawn into the crappiness of all of it.
I am incredulous because there are so many amazing things happening each day that should the in our periphery. Real kids who are changing the world like the student protesters who are being continually assaulted at Trump rallies, real moms/wives starting and running amazing businesses from the ground up. Legit politicians who are still trying to do the right thing for the people, socially responsible companies, activist investors. People who care, people who have real talent, people who matter silently walking behind all of this and pick up the garbage that is thrown on the floor and the least we could do is see them. It would be awesome if we attach the real value to celebrity. It would be awesome if our criminal justice system was fair to everyone. It would be down right morally up-lifting if our economy worked the way it was meant to. We may complain about our political system, but it starts with us. Everything comes back to us, what do we consume and why. I am simply here today to say that I am tired of consuming what is offered in the shallow end of the pool. I am swimming for deeper waters because that is where so many of us belong and what we deserve. So please, let put the inmates back in their cages where they belong. Lets stop consuming their BS.
you are not the first, nor even the last... read Jane Austen. She had the same attitude toward 'society' of her day, that you do now.
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