Wednesday night happens to be the night of one of my most cherished long standing traditions, which I do not have many of these days. In fact, it currently happens to be my only long standing tradition, which is probably what I look forward to it so much. It is Wednesday night with the girls. A night were we usually workout, eat, drink wine, and totally lay everything on the table in mostly reassuring discussions. Last nights topics happens to be one of my favorites, mostly because I obsess about the topic. It is a topic borne out of frustration and I was given the opportunity to hear others opinions on a problem people rarely admit to. I will title the conversation hence forth as, "How does one shit rainbows?" Come on people, you all know what I am talking about.
Last night there were 3 different ladies, with three totally different life experiences. Different things effect us and that is why the conversation was just frustratingly therapeutic in a rich way. We all just simply wanted to know why it seems that some people just shit rainbows, all the time, all day, every day. From the opposite sex who casually walks about their life with just explosive diarrhea of rainbows (although I am pretty sure when my husband married the woman who walked under a thousand ladders, broke a million mirrors, was a horrible person, probably Hitler, in a past like, his luck, karma and ability to "shit rainbow" was quashed. Sorry!), to the acquaintance of FB with posts equating their life to something like skipping through a field of daisies while squirting out a rainbow with every step. (Though we all know these people to be frauds, it is still frustrating how obstinate they are about admitting adversity.) To the coworker or friend who love their job/life/kids/world so much they are marking everything up with their stupid rainbows. They never get laid-off, never fight with their kid of significant other, everything is always coming up roses.
What it seems to boil down to was that everyone wants success in their own way. Wanting your own success does not in anyway diminish happiness for other peoples success. It just gets frustrating watching it "happen" for everyone but yourself. For us, it was more about wondering when it was our turn? When would it be our time to shit rainbows for once? Everybody's success is different, some is fleeting and some sticks around for life. Sometimes it seems like days, weeks, months and years that we are floating around in life's not so pleasant excrement just waiting, working, searching for a glimmer of hope and color. Sometimes hard work is rewarded, sometimes nepotism, some time lies and manipulation, and sometime it is just frustrating when everyone around you seems to be winning but you. I think acknowledging as much actually sets you a little more free to search than you were before. It allows you to proceed with change. Success is not always tangible or materialistic. My 2 friends are raising 3 kids with the ridiculously bests personalities. Those kids reflect the love, warmth, and openness that resides in their homes and that is a giant success.
I think in retrospect, a big difference is that three of us are very authentic souls. We have a hard time grinning and bearing it through gritted teeth. When people hurt us they know, when we are hurting we are not ashamed, and when we fail it is for most to see. We have known each other for a decade, and we not only wear our hearts on our sleeves for ourselves, but for everyone else. Not everyone does that, and that is also certainly OK. But sometimes it is comforting to know others struggle along side of us, especially if it can be a shared experience. We can learn and help each other. We can share love, pain, and happiness. (We can also share wine and the inexplicable experience of watching Sharknado) We might still be searching for something but at least we are searching together and that itself is a rainbow. Our lives might not be perfect, we might not know where we are going, or how to get out of Bayview for that matter, but at least we still have hope that things are out there for us. For everyone out there, even if we think we are failing at times for a day, weeks, months, or years most of our failure is borne out of our own perception. Who knows, we might even be shitting rainbows to other people.
No comments:
Post a Comment