America's favorite troll is at it again, and I do not mean the cute ones with blue frizzy hair that stands on end. I am talking about the woman who is so possessed with empty anger, rage, and decay that you cannot feel anything but pity for her. That is right, I am talking about Ann Coulter. If you have not read her gem of an article yet, here is a link to it. http://www.clarionledger.com/story/opinion/columnists/2014/06/25/coulter-growing-interest-soccer-sign-nations-moral-decay/11372137/
If I get a little "upset" while writing this, I have to apologize. You see I just spent the last hour and a half on me feet, cheering, clapping and in general willing USA to victory. Though we did not come out victorious, we did earn, and I mean EARN our spot to move one! YEAH! So I am more than slightly offended by this article. I am absolutely abhorred, more so than the fact that she is actually a syndicated columnist. Which I did not think was possible.
She starts her incredible un-American rant by stating, "I've held off writing about soccer for a decade-" Great, because she clearly knows nothing about the sport, which is evident the more you read the column. It is also incredibly irrational and by her logic, then yes, anytime America gets behind its national team (of course except when it is Football, not a international sport anyway, basketball or baseball, the only 3 acceptable sports) competing in a world event it screams moral decay. Anytime you cheer on Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps and the hordes of American athletes who devote entire lives to representing their country with pride, you are contributing to the downfall of our society. If that is the case, then please, I will be in line first.
As an athlete it is also clear this woman has probably never held a ball that was not old and wrinkly. If Ms. Coulter was ever an athlete then she would know that individual achievement is not why you compete. Individual achievement does not, will not, and never has won a team sport. I have proudly bled, sweat, cried and rejoiced with my teammates. THEY ARE MY MOST TREASURED MEMORIES. Not a single basket in a basketball game and not a single kill in a volleyball game. Though, since she expounds on individuality as crutch to protect her insecure nature when it comes to relationships with other human beings, again I have to have pity in that, she has probably never hugged her teammate after a clutch three pointer, never slapped hands so hard with her setter for stuffing a giant middle blocker. Never felt the magical shift in an intense game that starts to go your way because your teammate did something fabulous.
In addition Ms. Coulter is incapable of parsing out anything positive in general about anything, she is the ultimate Debbie Downer. (She probably just needs a hug, can we start a campaign to raise money to pay someone to hug her?) But, more so she is wholly incapable of see the skill, beauty or cunning that is displayed in soccer. It is a sport where the biggest and baddest does not always win. Skill, wit, and drive out play the physicality, which in my opinion makes the game fantastic. Any brute can put on pads and slam each other over and over and over again until they are incapable of sadly completing a coherent sentence and drooling, which is not funny. They are killing themselves for our pleasure. What is so special about that? Oh of course, in her opinion it is the brutality. The injuries. In a woman whose dogmatic nature is going for the jugular and the weakest always first and foremost, of course that is what would appeal.
Apparently, Ms. Coulter does not know that our team captain broke his nose in the first half of the first game. She is also unaware that they set the break on the field, he got up, spit out blood and has been playing ever since. Can we name a basketball player or baseball player that has done that lately? So apologies form the soccer world to Ms. Coulter if you do not fancy the game violent enough for your bad self. Not enough head trauma or compound fractures for her. It seems she would prefer the Roman Colosseum over any sport, and if that is the case then please, Ms. Coulter, you go first. Put your money where your mouth is. If you are too scared, then let me challenge you to a basketball game...one on one. No one in America has ever or will ever be force fed to watch soccer, furthermore. Anyone who is remotely interested in the sport actually knows how difficult it is to watch it. (I am not even going to get into the salaries and incarceration rates, or preposterous behavior of a majority our professional athletes)
Of course Ms. Coulter has to turn the sport into something political. She mistakenly believes it is her wheelhouse. But, I do feel we can forgive this because, lets face it, her demagoguery has created a nice little niche market for her. Something along the lines of what Huey Long and Charles Manson were able to create, mindless followers who fed off negative filth. Ugly people only have ugly words. If one her biggest complaints is that is is foreign, then please, she needs to give up on her conservatism. Any good conservative knows the basic foundation was founded from the likes of Edmund Burke and he was foreign. Not to mention Ayn Rand...yep she was RUSSIAN which means she was FOREIGN. Not to mention our good old Democratic government. Yep, a foreign idea as well.
She ends her little ditty with a gem of a quote, "No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer." Ms. Coulter is false, totally false and pompous and 100% ignorant. (again why syndication??) I am as American as they come. I am also an athlete and here is what I can tell you, which is the truth. Again, I apologize because this is where I am going to get emotional. There was nothing more American than watching my American team fight. They fought from a bad position, from an underdog status. Nothing screams USA like overcoming the shit thrown at you and rising above it to succeed. Those 23 men, they exude what it means to be an American. Being able to watch some of my favorite players come home and fight with glory, defiance and pride for our country is something I more than cherish. I am American, and I am bursting with pride for Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Jermaine Jones, Fabian Johnson, Michael Bradley, Jozy Altidore, Aron Johannsson, Kyle Bekerman, Mix Diskerud, Chris Wondolowski, DaMarcus Beasely, DeAndre Yedlin, Graham Zusi, Omar Gonzalez, Geoff Cameron, Brad Davis, Timothy Chandler, Alejandro Bedyoa, Matt Besler, Brad Guzan, John Brooks, Julian Green, and Nick Rimando. If Ms. Coulter can not muster the goodwill to have respect then she should do what my mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, then DO NOT say anything at all." I am just gonna say....GO USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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