On sympathy and Empathy

      When tragedy strikes, or bad things happen and the life you are trying to lead is pulled right out from underneath you, one of the hardest issues to overcome is the simple question of "why". Why do things happen, why the timing, and most poisonous, why me. Some of my dearest friends are asking these very questions right now. These people are kind, generous, hard working, their list of attributes could go on and on. There is nothing harder than having to watch family and friends go through this, aside from the agony of experiencing it yourself. The ever wretched "why me" leads to some of the most self-inflicting emotional and mental wounds that the human mind can imagine. Its inevitable path leads to, "What did I do to deserve this?" "What is wrong with me?" "Why am I a failure and others are not?" I happen to think these are the three most unfair questions anyone ever has to ask themselves. One reason, is because in all likelihood nobody deserves to go through the shitty muck of life. It is something we have to do because we have been put here to navigate our own way. Secondly, it is frustrating because we will never truly understand, "why me?" Maybe we are not supposed to understand, but it does not make that haunting feeling that will follow for life any better.
        Some people surrender and attribute things to God's will. For me, that is too much like a Greek tragedy. How come some ethereal being gets to decide what pain we do and do not endure. It also makes the whole, "What did I do to deserve this" question a whole lot harder to swallow. Especially when you did nothing. Some attribute it to nature or the randomness of the Universe. Equally disturbing when looking at the latter questions. Am I randomly chosen to fail in this or that endeavor? It is truly frustrating to have to justify tragedy, but as enlightened human beings it seems to be in our nature to want to know, "Why me or why us?"
       So what do we do when the people closest to us are smacked with an incomprehensible event that, hopefully only momentarily, shatters their hope, happiness, and confidence? I think the best thing to do is be there, and be present. Listen and give reassurance. Sympathy and empathy are some of human beings greatest and most beautiful of attributes, despite what some say. Life is already hard, what is amazing about humans is the resilience we possess to bounce back, even if it takes awhile. Friends and family of those who are in a moment of suffering can and should lend a hand to help pull each other out of these times. No one will ever be able to answer why, but at least we can lend our sympathy and empathy in times of need.
          Not one person I know will ever "deserve" any of the bad stuff that happens to us throughout our lives. Each and everyone of us must remember that. If it is a person worth knowing and loving, they deserve 100% of us. I think it is important that we all remember that, and when tragedy does happen, we will not know why, but only that our friends and family are their for us always and that it will pass.