I am a girls girl. I love my ladies and have a hard time believing other women when they say, "I just do not get a long with most girls." That statement is usually followed up by a shot, a beer and a long hug, because, like I said, I just feel like that is not true. The more life, work, and just general experiences that come with time, increases my will to believe that that certain sentiment just cannot be true. Women have needed each other through the centuries and it is clear today is no different. Just because we have made some progress in our society, it is still abundantly obvious that women in our society are still not on the same level playing field as men. In light of the ouster of Jill Abramson, the executive editor of The New York Times, as a response to her demand for comparable wage to her predecessor, it serves as evidence at how little we have actually come.
In my early through mid-twenties, I had a hard time believing that sexism actually existed. I found it laughable when I heard the media talk about it, or when other women discussed it. But, it was always there and still remains. When I think about sexisms prevalence it sadly just feels so ingrained into our society. So how can we overcome this, if we can ever overcome it? Where does the problem start and where can it end?
Thinking about the origins of where we place women in our society, and around the world for that matter, without this becoming a discussion on religion, is clear. There have been women throughout history who have bravely battled the inherent nature of theocratic and dogmatic cowards who believed that a woman's only role was to do as man demands. The manifestation of these ideas are still practiced today. As a volleyball coach, I used to look across the gym at large tournaments, men dominated as coaches of the elite teams, just like in athletics everywhere, despite the teams being ladies teams, and that is not to say women are incapable of coaching men's teams. They are capable, it just as stated, we have trouble coaching out own teams. Now as involved as I am in the sailing world, I am forever flabbergasted at the anachronistic "boys clubs" so many racing programs perpetuate, from small to large boats. I will preface with the fact that I myself am not a great racer, but I know some phenomenal, accomplished female racers who are always over-looked for the important decision making positions (even though they are clearly the best sailor on the boat) or looked over all together purely because they are women. Usually, they are passed over for frumpy, nonathletic, out-of-shape good ol' boys who do not know the bow from their ass. But, the can tell dirty jokes, drink a beer, smoke a cigar, and they clearly know their place in the pecking order.
What is really ironic, is looking back of some of previous jobs, men were always hired in undeserved positions or given undeserved promotions. Granted it was mostly in the construction field (though service industry definitely has its moments), a place where misogyny is applauded, I was in a better position, did more for my company and excelled, yet when I got together with my counterparts from different organizations, their salary was always higher than mine. Regardless of the fact that we were of similar age, experience, or responsibility level. I can totally empathize with how Jill Abramson, and all the other women out there feel. And what for? So incompetence can rule the day? But only if that incompetence comes in the form of a penis?
Anther unhelpful sideshow to our lives is the behavior of women towards other women. Somewhere along the way, we got this idea that if we act like assholes to one another we can move up in the world, or something along those lines. So not we have 14 year old girls hitting each other in the heads with shovels, and Real Housewives of a Planet the does not Exist display the same behavior as dog packs trying to establish dominance. Women sabotaging other women's careers, relationships, or families has become common place. The world is a horrible place for women, yet some of our biggest oppressors are other women. Some of the lowest blows levelled against women are from other women, i.e, the ever present and nauseating Mommy Wars, the ever present and nauseating Religious Wars. The fact remains that we have unique opportunities to uplift one another in this world, yet too many times we are burying each other further below. For what? A brief moment of glory that will not last because what you did will also happen to you.
Furthermore, violence against women, especially our young women is absolutely rampant and grotesque, with many of the perpetrators walking away with little more than a slap on the wrist. This should absolutely rile us up, yet many women resort to slut shaming and damning the victim. For this I have no words. It is unacceptable for a woman to have to put up with unwanted attention, molestation or assault, regardless of what she happens to be wearing or how much she has been drinkings. Period. We, women, need to be the first line of defense against this and we need to be the first make sure the ahole is punished accordingly despite their status as an athlete, musician, heir, or "artist."
Sometimes, our lack of self-confidence seemingly fuels our need to lash out at other women or disconnect. We cannot let others define our sense of worth. Hollywood does not matter, the fashion industry does not matter, men do not matter. Our value as a person lies in how we treat others because in the end that is really the only thing that can be measured. I really do think a huge boost for all women kind relies heavily on how we treat each other. If we cannot treat one another with respect, then why in the world would men ever start treating us with respect?
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