On Sunday night Ed and I were watching some documentary on Adolf Hitler, which essentially are all the same because they are born from the need to figure out what the hell happened. How can a single soul be responsible for all those deaths, leading people not only to be slaughtered but also to become the butchers. All being led like sheep to literal death or the death of a soul not strong enough to overcome the powerful siren call of a hateful demagogue. Saying so much of what people wanted to hear that they forgot he was also a dangerous agitator. This day, in 1944, forever marks the downfall of Hitler's Germany and along with it, the broken seal of his powerful spell on the people in that country. When we, or our fellow allies, look back on World War II it is with pride that we were on the right side. We all helped to destroy on of the worlds greatest evils, but at a cost. We waited, and waited, and waited. We watched, we turned children away seeking safety in our country, we turned away refuges trying to escape the unearned wrath of a crazy megalomaniac hell bent on their destruction. We tucked back into our turtle shell of safety and prosperity when Europe, China, and most of SE Asia were being torn to pieces. We. Waited. And. Waited. Until we were angry enough to say enough is enough. When the destruction and coldblooded killings of our citizens finally and literally hit home. So on this day, the anniversary day of one of the most important battles my nation has ever fought in and won, I am imploring everyone around the world to wait no more.
Today my heart is breaking for the 120+ people, mostly children being slaughtered by Taliban gunmen at a school in Peshawar province in Pakistan. Children in a school. Yesterday Australia experienced its own horror as two citizens, a 38yr old mother of three and a 34 year old young man, lost their lives in a stand off with gunman. Both described as hero's by other hostages, both paid the price of moral uprightness in this world. On one hand you have innocent children, on the other adults with everything to lose, giving it all up to help another. When real life parallels our fantasy, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Lord of the Rings, where innocents and the morally strong are violently offed, there is something wrong and we cannot afford to wait anymore.
Sometimes I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by the evil people that inhabit this world with us. Those are two examples in two days, not counting our recent events in Pennsylvania, or ISIS's latest murder or slaughter. It keeps happening. And here we are waiting, waiting for this shit to get real. I hate to say it, but, it is real. Everyday scores of people all over the world leave their homes seeking out, what they misguidedly feel is a just fight. Falling pray to the siren calls of the likes of ISIS, the Taliban or Al Qaeda who are unfortunately filling the void of a society set on waking early, trudging to work most of the day, and coming home to eat dinner and for what? The promise of a better life, looking to a bright future. We are constantly waiting. Waiting for things to get better. Waiting for things to get worse. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Ironically, what we fail to realize, what our governments fail to realize, what governments all over the world fail to realize, is that the waiting means nothing when we forget to take care of the present.
I will never understand the inaction of man. The inaction of diplomats around the world and the people at will. What are our limits and when will we finally say enough is enough? How many more children have to die in this world, alone and terrified before it finally hits a point where we no longer can come home from work at night, sit down in front of our TV's, eat dinner and forget about everything that happened that day? When will we be angry enough to end this evil? To finally make a plan, to say something that gives people hope. To help everyone realize that they are not alone in their fight against the evil that we know today. Even if we can't make it to save the innocent that they are not dying in vain, that we know what happens and that we will remember. That someday we will not longer be able to wait. We condemn with weak voices and condone with inaction.
To preserve peace, it has to be the actual goal. That has to be what we are fighting for in the present, whether in our own lives, in our communities or in our wide and tumultuous world. A peaceful future is a better future, a peaceful future is a prosperous future. When will we learn it is not the other way around? Prosperity over peace will always be an algorithm for inaction. Innocents are dying all over the world and at home, I guess in some respects it has always been this way. But, I like to think that sometime, in the near future, enlightenment and mindfulness will win out. We will again form meaningful alliances to end the nightmare we are calling our lives here on earth and really work for peace. Stand together in the name of peace with strong voices, for there are no cultural misunderstanding when it comes to slaughtering innocents. This is my real holiday wish.
Me
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
The Beautful Truth?
I just read a preview, unfortunately, of a Kim Kardashian interview for the upcoming edition of Elle UK. In that interview she, ah, actually attributes her pregnancy weight gain to God punishing her for her relative hotness. I say relative because, hey, everybody has their prerogatives when it comes to attraction, but this....I can't, I just can't. Left reeling and dumbstruck by this profoundly mindless and ignorant statement, I just can't. But, it really does reflect our societies obsession with "looks." This comes on the heels of an article I also mistakenly read yesterday about an alarming cosmetic procedure where they actually inject botox into ones calves to arrest and therefore shrink the muscle so women with "large" calves can fit into boots. The woman, who was discussing this procedure actually described how she felt about the results as such, "I can fit the boots on now… If you look good, you are treated
differently, so I’ll always be interested in strange cosmetic treatments." Is this how many of us feel about all things beautiful? What is it about this very limited view of beauty that we accept, embrace, and/or actually strive for? Do we actually believe this type of beauty equates to power and if so is that a good thing?
It is funny because this is a topic I have been thinking and wanting to write about for a very long time now, but it feels like this week has possessed the appropriate amount of frustration, amusement, discussion, and reflection on this topic. For starters on Monday, I received a swimsuit ordered online for an upcoming trip. Like any fashion forward DINK Yuppie women in their thirties, I ordered a two piece that can be mixed and matched with existing suits I own. I chose between two bottoms, mostly by staring intently at the models arses to determine which bottom had the most coverage, mostly because well personal preferences (I have a very acceptable fear of wax getting near things where wax just does not belong OK) and I just am not sure I dig the wedgie like nature of those tiny Brazilian bottoms that look oh so sexy on a toned, tanned angel. After much deliberation and staring, I thought I made the right choice. Low and behold I ripped open that package, picked up that tiny bottom and well, immediately gasped, stifled a disbelieving laugh, because wouldn't you know it, they were the damn Brazilian bottoms I worked so hard to avoid. In jest I tried them on, then with much goading, tried them on again for my husband. Despite the laughable nature of how much they did not fit, it struck me that it did not bother me that they did not fit. The first thought that came to mind was the fact that, their sizing is just ridiculous and whatever it is not like I NEEDED to look good in these or any swimsuit for that matter, not the whole self-conscious lament, "OMFG I am so FAT, I cannot believe they do not fit! I need to lose weight, blah, blah, blah!" We so often hear, say or complain to our friends about. I am totally guilty as charged, as well as probably all of my friends. But, neither myself nor my friends are trolls. In fact I know no trolls. I felt good that I did not think that, it was peaceful and nice. We, and by we I mean most women, are so concerned with how we look so often that we forget to think about how we feel, which effect us more than how we look and ironically effects how we see ourselves.
Why are we feeling so insecure about ourselves that we will pay thousands of dollars to potentially kill ourselves with a pulmonary embolism from injecting botox into our legs? No one is standing on my door telling me that I should loss the ass pounds that are keeping me from fitting into that unrealistically sized Brazilian bikini bottom, although the length of my torso was also an issue. When I am having a good time on Bondi beach, I am going to be more worried about a shark than what my body looks like in a suit. I know this for a fact because I have taken a lot of beach vacations with friends and family and the last thing I am ever thinking about is how someone looks in their suit. How trivial, even the idea of stressing about our bods in a world full of strife and suffering is about as bizarre as Kim Kardashian's logic about pregnancy weight gain. I get that we women and even some men have what we decided are very real and painful body image issues. We obsess about our body issues. You cannot peruse the internet for even an hour without happening upon a weight loss or "body shaming" article. People have made songs around it, petition companies and models about it. We obsess about this and we place blame on everyone and everything. I understand that these are very real issues for many women, but sometimes I cannot help but think we are giving up a lot of our power to feel alive, good and grateful to forces that are not, well real, for lack of a better term. In addition and ironically in our quest to block out the forces we trivialize others insecurities or issues to make us feel better about ourselves. I do believe it is one of the biggest reason why women are so awful to other women, and it is all just needless. We do not need to feel or do these things. What we need to feel grateful for our health, well being, and ability to live.
This weeks blog dujour making the rounds I noticed was written by a woman who is amazed by the fact that her husband loves her and wants to do her every morning, despite the fact that her body is, as she believes, destroyed from having children. Now, here is where I would think our rape culture and beauty culture would paradoxically unite to prove to women that men not only will screw pretty much anything (including passed out drugged women resembling a dabble in necrophilia disgustingly) , but actually love us for US. I have never dated a man who liked me only for my looks and I am betting neither has a majority of women and how sad would that be if we did. It is already sad enough that women like Kim Kardashian clearly only find value in their beauty, when I am sure (and I am being charitable here) that they do have other aspects to offer. I would bet my meager life savings that Kanye West loves her more for being a great mother to his child than for her beauty. Additionally, none of my friends are my friends purely for their looks or beauty and I am 100% certain it is vice versa because it is not how any of us define ourselves. So it bothers me that so many people are hung up on this. It bothers me that we need to hear from another woman whether it be Meghan Trainor, Nicki Minaj, or the woman from the blog that it does not matter if we are not in possession of model like good looks. We have manifested this idea that our bodies are the end all be all, and that it is because society has deemed that they be a certain way, yada yada yada, but in reality the body is nothing but a vessel for our minds and our soul. Feeling healthy and being healthy, being happy and contributing to our families and communities to make them a better place is more important than what we look like. Striving to fit into our self created limited box of what is beautiful is only keeping us from really transcending the non-issues that we let clutter our life and minds. To be honest I have been stressing about getting rid of 5 pounds for my upcoming trip, but that was perfectly wiped away by actually NOT fitting into those ridiculous bikini bottoms. It is such a habit and struggle for us that we need to really work on not doing this anymore. Truly ugly people, on the inside, are the only ones who actually believe in the religion of vanity. Those people are not important and the voices in our heads are not real. I guarantee no one is standing on your doorstep and if there is someone, they probably just want to talk about a certain bible verse and move on to your neighbor.
It is funny because this is a topic I have been thinking and wanting to write about for a very long time now, but it feels like this week has possessed the appropriate amount of frustration, amusement, discussion, and reflection on this topic. For starters on Monday, I received a swimsuit ordered online for an upcoming trip. Like any fashion forward DINK Yuppie women in their thirties, I ordered a two piece that can be mixed and matched with existing suits I own. I chose between two bottoms, mostly by staring intently at the models arses to determine which bottom had the most coverage, mostly because well personal preferences (I have a very acceptable fear of wax getting near things where wax just does not belong OK) and I just am not sure I dig the wedgie like nature of those tiny Brazilian bottoms that look oh so sexy on a toned, tanned angel. After much deliberation and staring, I thought I made the right choice. Low and behold I ripped open that package, picked up that tiny bottom and well, immediately gasped, stifled a disbelieving laugh, because wouldn't you know it, they were the damn Brazilian bottoms I worked so hard to avoid. In jest I tried them on, then with much goading, tried them on again for my husband. Despite the laughable nature of how much they did not fit, it struck me that it did not bother me that they did not fit. The first thought that came to mind was the fact that, their sizing is just ridiculous and whatever it is not like I NEEDED to look good in these or any swimsuit for that matter, not the whole self-conscious lament, "OMFG I am so FAT, I cannot believe they do not fit! I need to lose weight, blah, blah, blah!" We so often hear, say or complain to our friends about. I am totally guilty as charged, as well as probably all of my friends. But, neither myself nor my friends are trolls. In fact I know no trolls. I felt good that I did not think that, it was peaceful and nice. We, and by we I mean most women, are so concerned with how we look so often that we forget to think about how we feel, which effect us more than how we look and ironically effects how we see ourselves.
Why are we feeling so insecure about ourselves that we will pay thousands of dollars to potentially kill ourselves with a pulmonary embolism from injecting botox into our legs? No one is standing on my door telling me that I should loss the ass pounds that are keeping me from fitting into that unrealistically sized Brazilian bikini bottom, although the length of my torso was also an issue. When I am having a good time on Bondi beach, I am going to be more worried about a shark than what my body looks like in a suit. I know this for a fact because I have taken a lot of beach vacations with friends and family and the last thing I am ever thinking about is how someone looks in their suit. How trivial, even the idea of stressing about our bods in a world full of strife and suffering is about as bizarre as Kim Kardashian's logic about pregnancy weight gain. I get that we women and even some men have what we decided are very real and painful body image issues. We obsess about our body issues. You cannot peruse the internet for even an hour without happening upon a weight loss or "body shaming" article. People have made songs around it, petition companies and models about it. We obsess about this and we place blame on everyone and everything. I understand that these are very real issues for many women, but sometimes I cannot help but think we are giving up a lot of our power to feel alive, good and grateful to forces that are not, well real, for lack of a better term. In addition and ironically in our quest to block out the forces we trivialize others insecurities or issues to make us feel better about ourselves. I do believe it is one of the biggest reason why women are so awful to other women, and it is all just needless. We do not need to feel or do these things. What we need to feel grateful for our health, well being, and ability to live.
This weeks blog dujour making the rounds I noticed was written by a woman who is amazed by the fact that her husband loves her and wants to do her every morning, despite the fact that her body is, as she believes, destroyed from having children. Now, here is where I would think our rape culture and beauty culture would paradoxically unite to prove to women that men not only will screw pretty much anything (including passed out drugged women resembling a dabble in necrophilia disgustingly) , but actually love us for US. I have never dated a man who liked me only for my looks and I am betting neither has a majority of women and how sad would that be if we did. It is already sad enough that women like Kim Kardashian clearly only find value in their beauty, when I am sure (and I am being charitable here) that they do have other aspects to offer. I would bet my meager life savings that Kanye West loves her more for being a great mother to his child than for her beauty. Additionally, none of my friends are my friends purely for their looks or beauty and I am 100% certain it is vice versa because it is not how any of us define ourselves. So it bothers me that so many people are hung up on this. It bothers me that we need to hear from another woman whether it be Meghan Trainor, Nicki Minaj, or the woman from the blog that it does not matter if we are not in possession of model like good looks. We have manifested this idea that our bodies are the end all be all, and that it is because society has deemed that they be a certain way, yada yada yada, but in reality the body is nothing but a vessel for our minds and our soul. Feeling healthy and being healthy, being happy and contributing to our families and communities to make them a better place is more important than what we look like. Striving to fit into our self created limited box of what is beautiful is only keeping us from really transcending the non-issues that we let clutter our life and minds. To be honest I have been stressing about getting rid of 5 pounds for my upcoming trip, but that was perfectly wiped away by actually NOT fitting into those ridiculous bikini bottoms. It is such a habit and struggle for us that we need to really work on not doing this anymore. Truly ugly people, on the inside, are the only ones who actually believe in the religion of vanity. Those people are not important and the voices in our heads are not real. I guarantee no one is standing on your doorstep and if there is someone, they probably just want to talk about a certain bible verse and move on to your neighbor.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Living with an Undeveloped Frontal Cortex: Being a Teenager
If I picture myself having a teenage child (and before you get all holy on me, yes all I can do is imagine and I am very well aware that it is totally different than experiencing so no need to lecture me on not "knowing.") I imagine myself being very laid back, but clear in my expectations, like a french parent. The last time we visited France, we stayed with wonderful friends who had teenage sons at the time. The oldest having spent his adolescence in America, was greatly enjoying the perks of being a youth en France. Room to explore and mess up, yet possessing a restrained and pragmatic responsibility. ( I attribute this to their ridiculously deep curriculum and amazingly mature expectations from most adults involved in their lives) Not that is a perfect notion for everyone, I thoroughly enjoyed the short time we were there watching him navigate fairly successfully this new terrain, but, his parents were French so of course. With freedom comes expectations, and these kids clearly understood the deal. Funny, but, it is kind of how Cher Horowitz in "Clueless" behaves and understands the world. Summed up best when she drops this actually poignant line to her friend about drugs. "It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day." That sentiment can be applied to everything and anything. It is a fine line for children lacking fully developed brains to comprehend, there for as adults, we simply have to take the lead, teach, and be authority figures.
I say this from a place of love, of worry, and of complete and total annoyance. For any adult who frequents the music scene, the sight of teenagers at shows and festivals has become so prevalent you sometimes wonder if you accidentally happened upon a One Direction concert. Low and behold you are then completely bowled over by much of their behavior, the fact that they are unsupervised, only compounded by what their parents actually let them leave the house dressed like Julia Robers in "Pretty Woman" and not after the rich guy buys her a new wardrobe. Neigh, these are not dens of sin or mass orgies, but they are certainly not wholesome either. For example last night, I attended a show with my sister-in-law ans her husband where there were 5 bands playing. By the time the 5th and final band made it out, not only was in 11:30 pm on a school night, the lead singer was so trashed and high there were parts of songs he could not even muster enough "together-ness" to sing. We could not ever pin-point what he possibly could have been on. He was up, down and all around. Additionally, there was enough magical smoke wafting around to induce even the most practiced burn-out into a slight high. Multiple fights almost broke out, liquor was flowing and here is what gets me, parents of teenage girls, there are very much predictors attending these events. If I know this problem exist, you best believe they look forward to it. Teenage girls in their short, high waist shorts, replete with crop or bra top, (surprisingly winter or summer) drunk on stolen liquor (probably from your own cabinets) losing all sense of control or awareness of their surroundings. If I was a male or female pervert I would be there loving every second of it looking for my next victim. It bothers me intensely that these teenagers, behaving irresponsibly are left to fend for themselves. WE HAVE A RAPE CULTURE PROBLEM FROM HIGH SCHOOL ON PEOPLE!
I am not easily shocked nor impressed by other people and their behavior. I also get that kids will be kids, if you knew me in high school. But, last summer was my first and last time at Lollapalooza, despite knowing and loving most of the bands that play. I will never spend that much money only to encounter the teenage debauchery that currently resides at that festival. It is not isolated, it infiltrates Grant Park the whole time. From the idiots openly smoking a joint, to those so drunk they pee and vomit on themselves, nary a parental unit in sight. Just last night a group of what looked to be your typical suburban lanky blonds, decked out in teenager mandatory show uniform, were kindly escorted out by security after their drunken antics alienated everyone surrounding them. I tell you, if I got that call at 10:30 on a school night you better believe that daughter will not see the light of day except to and from school until well into the new year. Here is the thing, they were warned multiple times, by multiple adults surrounding them that if they did not amend their behavior action would be taken. It was answered with a scoff and eye-roll. They clearly have not seen "Clueless", nor were raised by the French. They were obtuse. They were obtuse because they are teenagers. They are obtuse because they do not have fully developed brains and they need guidance, no matter how much they believe otherwise. I cannot impart enough that we need to stop being friends with our teenage population and start behaving like the authority figures we as adults are. Had I or any adult surround those kids been of a different mindset, their parents would have gotten a much different call at the end of the night.
There were examples of amazingly behaved teenagers who were at the show last night, as well as many other shows I have been to, who are clearly there for the music. They keep to themselves, they are aware and are getting an amazing experience. There were also parents present clearly accompanying minors, but for everyone of those there is a group with no supervision behaving so stupid it is surprising evolution has not swooped in yet. Even if you have the best teenager in the world, you cannot control what other people do around them, but we can do a better job of preparing them to remain safe and I am just not seeing that. You cannot give freedom without guidance and expectation. I am not sure what grinds me the most, the fact that I am paying for my ticket and would like to enjoy the show without seeing a teenager on the verge of being assaulted, vomiting on themselves, talking loudly, taking selfies and not listening to the show. Or the notion that Mom and Dad willingly bought them a ticket, sent them on their way, oblivious to the dangers of a standing room only, general admission show, especially when the teenage son or daughter has every intention of getting completely plowed during their outing. It is one thing (though totally not much better) to drop your kiddie off at a stadium show with assigned seats, but it is another to let them roam around pit of sweating, inebriated bodies with reckless drunken abandon. I truly feel like parents in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs believe the two weekends Lollapalooza comes to town is an awesome vacation for them without their kids. Get them their weekend passes, send them on a train with a hundo, and let them fend for themselves. I was an awful teenager, by all means there was no perfection from me, but my mother and father just said NO because they knew me. Which is why I am pretty sure I am where I am today. Alive with not much mental damage. When I got to college my freshman year, my older sister also kindly told me NO to many things I wanted to do. I will leave you with a saying from her, it was a night that I wanted her to go to a bar I could sneak into, instead of the more strict one her and her friends were going to, it has stuck with me for the rest of my life. "Sometimes there are things in life that you want to do, that you just cannot or have to wait for."
I say this from a place of love, of worry, and of complete and total annoyance. For any adult who frequents the music scene, the sight of teenagers at shows and festivals has become so prevalent you sometimes wonder if you accidentally happened upon a One Direction concert. Low and behold you are then completely bowled over by much of their behavior, the fact that they are unsupervised, only compounded by what their parents actually let them leave the house dressed like Julia Robers in "Pretty Woman" and not after the rich guy buys her a new wardrobe. Neigh, these are not dens of sin or mass orgies, but they are certainly not wholesome either. For example last night, I attended a show with my sister-in-law ans her husband where there were 5 bands playing. By the time the 5th and final band made it out, not only was in 11:30 pm on a school night, the lead singer was so trashed and high there were parts of songs he could not even muster enough "together-ness" to sing. We could not ever pin-point what he possibly could have been on. He was up, down and all around. Additionally, there was enough magical smoke wafting around to induce even the most practiced burn-out into a slight high. Multiple fights almost broke out, liquor was flowing and here is what gets me, parents of teenage girls, there are very much predictors attending these events. If I know this problem exist, you best believe they look forward to it. Teenage girls in their short, high waist shorts, replete with crop or bra top, (surprisingly winter or summer) drunk on stolen liquor (probably from your own cabinets) losing all sense of control or awareness of their surroundings. If I was a male or female pervert I would be there loving every second of it looking for my next victim. It bothers me intensely that these teenagers, behaving irresponsibly are left to fend for themselves. WE HAVE A RAPE CULTURE PROBLEM FROM HIGH SCHOOL ON PEOPLE!
I am not easily shocked nor impressed by other people and their behavior. I also get that kids will be kids, if you knew me in high school. But, last summer was my first and last time at Lollapalooza, despite knowing and loving most of the bands that play. I will never spend that much money only to encounter the teenage debauchery that currently resides at that festival. It is not isolated, it infiltrates Grant Park the whole time. From the idiots openly smoking a joint, to those so drunk they pee and vomit on themselves, nary a parental unit in sight. Just last night a group of what looked to be your typical suburban lanky blonds, decked out in teenager mandatory show uniform, were kindly escorted out by security after their drunken antics alienated everyone surrounding them. I tell you, if I got that call at 10:30 on a school night you better believe that daughter will not see the light of day except to and from school until well into the new year. Here is the thing, they were warned multiple times, by multiple adults surrounding them that if they did not amend their behavior action would be taken. It was answered with a scoff and eye-roll. They clearly have not seen "Clueless", nor were raised by the French. They were obtuse. They were obtuse because they are teenagers. They are obtuse because they do not have fully developed brains and they need guidance, no matter how much they believe otherwise. I cannot impart enough that we need to stop being friends with our teenage population and start behaving like the authority figures we as adults are. Had I or any adult surround those kids been of a different mindset, their parents would have gotten a much different call at the end of the night.
There were examples of amazingly behaved teenagers who were at the show last night, as well as many other shows I have been to, who are clearly there for the music. They keep to themselves, they are aware and are getting an amazing experience. There were also parents present clearly accompanying minors, but for everyone of those there is a group with no supervision behaving so stupid it is surprising evolution has not swooped in yet. Even if you have the best teenager in the world, you cannot control what other people do around them, but we can do a better job of preparing them to remain safe and I am just not seeing that. You cannot give freedom without guidance and expectation. I am not sure what grinds me the most, the fact that I am paying for my ticket and would like to enjoy the show without seeing a teenager on the verge of being assaulted, vomiting on themselves, talking loudly, taking selfies and not listening to the show. Or the notion that Mom and Dad willingly bought them a ticket, sent them on their way, oblivious to the dangers of a standing room only, general admission show, especially when the teenage son or daughter has every intention of getting completely plowed during their outing. It is one thing (though totally not much better) to drop your kiddie off at a stadium show with assigned seats, but it is another to let them roam around pit of sweating, inebriated bodies with reckless drunken abandon. I truly feel like parents in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs believe the two weekends Lollapalooza comes to town is an awesome vacation for them without their kids. Get them their weekend passes, send them on a train with a hundo, and let them fend for themselves. I was an awful teenager, by all means there was no perfection from me, but my mother and father just said NO because they knew me. Which is why I am pretty sure I am where I am today. Alive with not much mental damage. When I got to college my freshman year, my older sister also kindly told me NO to many things I wanted to do. I will leave you with a saying from her, it was a night that I wanted her to go to a bar I could sneak into, instead of the more strict one her and her friends were going to, it has stuck with me for the rest of my life. "Sometimes there are things in life that you want to do, that you just cannot or have to wait for."
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
The Unknown
"You know nothing Jon Snow." The line used so many times by Ygrette in Game of Thrones. It symbolizes so many things, his true naivete, literal lack of knowledge, and also as a general reminder. The great thing about their love story is that Jon Snow understands and accepts that he knows what he knows, but he is so willing to learn more. Is Ygrette a little harsh in her delivery? Yes, but at the same time she allows Jon Snow to see for himself, to understand and to truly know what it is that drives her and many others. She does not simply tell him, she makes him see for himself. The fact that Jon Snow knows nothing is a true gift in the morally bankrupt land of Westeros. Admitting to knowing nothing is a vulnerability so many of us will never surrender to because we believe it is a weakness. Knowing nothing, does not mean you literally know nothing, it just means that you will probably never know enough about others and their experience to generalize, that you realize you are coming from a different place. For example, I am particularly sensitive when I read or experience something or someone trying to invalidate my emotions or feelings. One of the reasons it bothers me to no end, is because no matter how much you think you know, lets say about life in general, you will never feel or experience a problem or situation like someone else because YOU DO NOT POSES THEIR MEMORIES, EXPERIENCES, OR PAST ACTIONS. Why the shouting all caps? Because too many of us offer unsolicited advice and opinions, one of my biggest pet peeves. If you already experience low self confidence, a self-questioning nature, or host a rather-able large size of insecurities it only drives you mad and further down. I do not know enough about anything, it drives me crazy when people believe they do and commit the above grievance.
I am bringing this up because it is the holidays. We are required to see family we spend a year trying to avoid, acquaintances at parties who are only acquaintances for a reason, and because of all the recent events in the news media. (And every snarky blogger/pundit out their with a damning opinion of everyone else but themselves....because, damn it, the masses just do not get it. Hello Grad School, we meet again?) I just want us to take a step back this holiday season, or dismount our proverbial high horses and lets think for a moment about our society as a whole. Taking a step back and gathering all that is out there, reflecting on how it effects all of us in our own way and back off our "well intentioned" gestures. Because, when it comes down to it, intentions mean nothing when you end up hurting or trashing someone by trying to make yourself feel better or better than.
We live in a society that shames not only overweight and obese women, but fit and slim women as well. We live a society that chides women for having having an epidural or bottle feeding, as well as for nursing in public. We belittle men we feel are not manly enough, but then complain about how emotionally unavailable they are. We complain about our materialistic ways while sitting in our house on our smart phones, with televisions on in the back ground, judging others who are just trying to get what we take for granted. We incessantly judge those we deem should "know better" when we actually have no idea what they do or do not know. When we actually know nothing about one another. By criticizing, giving advice when not asked for it, or doling out our "humble opinions" we are invalidating everything the other person is experiencing or feeling.
I harp on all of this because we are a society as a whole. Yes there are differences, but that does not mean differences equal something bad. Being a productive and upright citizen of our society means that you can encompass the whole while not losing your true self, all the while navigating your way kindly through those who also enjoy the privileged of living in our society. Purely because you realize you know nothing. Therefore, you do not get to dictate how others go about their business. You do not get to make them feel less than you because they chose a different path or have lived a different life. (Or because you feel you know a truth they do not, or because they were born into a different situation) Lording your greatness over others is one of the biggest weakness in the human race. It does not come from strength or intelligence. It does not come from passion or righteousness. It comes from weakness, intolerance and ignorance. Making others feel bad for being themselves, intentionally or unintentionally, is not a good thing. Kindly helping them understand if asked, being patient, or knowingly just being their yet silent is more powerful than trying to direct their course of action. Because in the end, it does not matter what you know or what you do, if you are truly trying to help or bring about change, it only matters if you can embrace the "wholeness" of everything, the mess and the good, and reconcile it into something productive. Forget what you know, because this life all around us is rarely about us. Being aware of our unknowing can open a host of opportunities to reach out, to recognize, and to finally understand what makes our neighbors tick, or family work, and our lives move forward. Realizing that we do not know will always be more powerful than truly believing that we do.
I am bringing this up because it is the holidays. We are required to see family we spend a year trying to avoid, acquaintances at parties who are only acquaintances for a reason, and because of all the recent events in the news media. (And every snarky blogger/pundit out their with a damning opinion of everyone else but themselves....because, damn it, the masses just do not get it. Hello Grad School, we meet again?) I just want us to take a step back this holiday season, or dismount our proverbial high horses and lets think for a moment about our society as a whole. Taking a step back and gathering all that is out there, reflecting on how it effects all of us in our own way and back off our "well intentioned" gestures. Because, when it comes down to it, intentions mean nothing when you end up hurting or trashing someone by trying to make yourself feel better or better than.
We live in a society that shames not only overweight and obese women, but fit and slim women as well. We live a society that chides women for having having an epidural or bottle feeding, as well as for nursing in public. We belittle men we feel are not manly enough, but then complain about how emotionally unavailable they are. We complain about our materialistic ways while sitting in our house on our smart phones, with televisions on in the back ground, judging others who are just trying to get what we take for granted. We incessantly judge those we deem should "know better" when we actually have no idea what they do or do not know. When we actually know nothing about one another. By criticizing, giving advice when not asked for it, or doling out our "humble opinions" we are invalidating everything the other person is experiencing or feeling.
I harp on all of this because we are a society as a whole. Yes there are differences, but that does not mean differences equal something bad. Being a productive and upright citizen of our society means that you can encompass the whole while not losing your true self, all the while navigating your way kindly through those who also enjoy the privileged of living in our society. Purely because you realize you know nothing. Therefore, you do not get to dictate how others go about their business. You do not get to make them feel less than you because they chose a different path or have lived a different life. (Or because you feel you know a truth they do not, or because they were born into a different situation) Lording your greatness over others is one of the biggest weakness in the human race. It does not come from strength or intelligence. It does not come from passion or righteousness. It comes from weakness, intolerance and ignorance. Making others feel bad for being themselves, intentionally or unintentionally, is not a good thing. Kindly helping them understand if asked, being patient, or knowingly just being their yet silent is more powerful than trying to direct their course of action. Because in the end, it does not matter what you know or what you do, if you are truly trying to help or bring about change, it only matters if you can embrace the "wholeness" of everything, the mess and the good, and reconcile it into something productive. Forget what you know, because this life all around us is rarely about us. Being aware of our unknowing can open a host of opportunities to reach out, to recognize, and to finally understand what makes our neighbors tick, or family work, and our lives move forward. Realizing that we do not know will always be more powerful than truly believing that we do.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
The Art of Living: It Requires Compotence
Lately I have been horribly stuck. So many thoughts, too many things to write about. I tried to write a post after the election, but could not because as angry as I was about politics, I could not put my finger on what exactly was upsetting me. However, after listening to an NPR interview yesterday with Bernie Sanders it finally came to me, clear as the cold crisp morning I find myself writing this on. One point he made during the interview, in relation to our last election cycle, had to do with how the candidates ran against each other. He aptly pointed out they were not running on ideas or calls to action, but who could shoot better, who knows how to castrate pigs, and a host of other ridiculous notions that have nothing to do with anything going on in our nations capital. This gets to the core of my anger, at our politicians local to federal and at my fellow citizens. I am tired of feeling like I am better than the people who are essentially running my life. And so should you.
This phenomenon is happening at every level of government. In my city, there are stories highlighting the juvenile antics perpetrated by our alderman, without embarrassment or remorse I should add, almost every day. Just today, the same newspaper quoted our state's assembly Speaker Robin Vos dissing the new owner of the Milwaukee Bucks simply for greeting the President of the United States of America. Then you have said President of the United States of America posturing with the legislative side of our government, like a bitter disrespected uncle, with the our congress posturing back like a 5 year old child being asked to wear something they irrationally disapprove of and threatening their said disrespected uncle with a giant tantrum. However, the giant tantrum effects not only the uncle but the whole entire world. But whatever. We are fine with our politicians behaving like silver-back gorillas and screeching harpies. As long as they hit the center of the target in their crappy campaign commercials, know how to castrate pigs, threaten others or make a poor effort at disguising how rich they actually are when they pander to the middle class and poor. (Yeah that last one was aimed at the Democrats) They do not get off on telling us their plan, giving us their call to action, or making a compelling logical and reasoned argument for their moral standards or ideology. Somewhere along the way, we stopped demanding competence and started being entertained by their plan to destroy their opponent, and relish in their hatred of said opponent.
My anger resides in the fact that we are ignoring the problem, or problems, that are very much plaguing our society. The problems that realistically have the potential to create utter catastrophe. These problems cross party lines, lurking in every corner of the world. And, may I ask where are we? What is our government doing to protect us? That is a big fat nothing. They are participating in their own soap opera of playground fights, cliques, and childish antics. The scary part, is that sometime a long long time ago in a far away land, the first sparks of civilization were lit. Hunter-gatherer Tom realized that himself and familial unit had a better chance of survival and perpetuation of species if he got together with hunter-gatherer Dick and his group. After a while hunter-gatherer Harry, was like, "Whoa, I gotta get in on this. My favorite breeding partner was just killed by a saber-tooth tiger, and Tom and Dick seem relatively safe in their larger number, so I better join them." Thus, the very simplistic and short version of how civilization began. So, what they realized is that they would have to compromise and cooperate a certain amount to live a much safer life, with the happy possibility of a more consistent food supply, relative to what they had. What I am hearing from our politicians, locally and at the federal level is that on the cusp of 2015 we not longer can, nor understand how to do this and that the masses are really cheering this on. Furthermore, they cannot even act with a modicum of decency towards each other in the process. Which is why it can no longer happen in the great United States of America, the original "government by the people, for the people and of the people." Or, did Lincoln have that wrong 150 years ago after we slaughtered our brothers, cousins, and neighbors for what? Oh yeah, rigid, uncompromising, horse manure ideology.
For my whole adult voting life, I keep hearing things like, "Well, I am going to vote for so-and-so because he/she seems cool. Like I could really sit down and have a beer with them." That statement makes me want to vomit. There is fine line between relate-able politician and crazy drunk guy who has no composure. Who sounds like the dufus he/she is. Listen, I love getting beers with my friends, but that drunk guy hitting on us better not be my local politician. Unfortunately it seems to be getting a little too real. (Ahem Palin Family brawl, politicians with colloquial speech and mannerisms that just scream "Hello world, I am Hillbilly Dan from BFE, I care not about anything but my own grandiose ideas and nature) I want my politicians to be better than that. No more Huey P. Longs, no more Senator Joseph McCarthy's. NO MORE HICK DEMAGOGUES. What has your politician done for your community or yourself lately. How did they go about it and who did they alienate? I am happy that the crazy mom on the corner identifies with Sally Anderson, the candidate for the local election, but Sally Anderson is crazy, has identified herself clearly as crazy. Surely that is off-putting to crazy mom on the corner? Bachelor business owner Bob totally understands where misogynistic candidate Greg is coming from, he hates the rest of his platform, but Bob can totally get behind Greg's belief in where the woman's place lies. Despite the fact the Greg is an utter idiot, he will still get bachelor Bob's vote.
My wish list, for politicians consists of intellectual curiosity and honesty. Articulate, well spoken, and genuine. What I am tired of, are the chest thumping ignoramuses and the screechy cave women who are the antithesis of statesmen and women. They have been hired by the American people to perform a job, I could care less if I want to sit down and have a beer with them. That is the least of my worries. I want them to be better than me. I want them to be better than you. They have an important job. I am tired of going to work everyday, then coming home and realizing that I have navigated the terrain of daily life better than the people who are running the country, our states, and cities. That I have treated people more just and civil. That I not only had to compromise at work but also at home, for the sole purpose of making both entities run the best possible way. Realizing that because, even though I had to give up on something, in the long run it will ascertain better results for what is most important. And if you are reading this, think of all the things you have done today, yesterday, the week before, to get your business, the company you work for, or your family to run successfully or to keep your life running smoothly. Because, being a statesman is not about blindly falling on your sword to rest on your laurels, or protect a rigid ideology when said ideology was not meant to be rigid in the first place. It is not about relating to a candidate on a personal level, it is about picking someone who is going to do the best job possible. It is about reconciling everyone's needs, wants, and desires to create the most beneficial outcome for all. If Tom, Dick, and Harry, in their finite hunter-gatherer minds can realize this, I am at a loss as to why modern day American politicians find the concept so difficult. Be better than that-
This phenomenon is happening at every level of government. In my city, there are stories highlighting the juvenile antics perpetrated by our alderman, without embarrassment or remorse I should add, almost every day. Just today, the same newspaper quoted our state's assembly Speaker Robin Vos dissing the new owner of the Milwaukee Bucks simply for greeting the President of the United States of America. Then you have said President of the United States of America posturing with the legislative side of our government, like a bitter disrespected uncle, with the our congress posturing back like a 5 year old child being asked to wear something they irrationally disapprove of and threatening their said disrespected uncle with a giant tantrum. However, the giant tantrum effects not only the uncle but the whole entire world. But whatever. We are fine with our politicians behaving like silver-back gorillas and screeching harpies. As long as they hit the center of the target in their crappy campaign commercials, know how to castrate pigs, threaten others or make a poor effort at disguising how rich they actually are when they pander to the middle class and poor. (Yeah that last one was aimed at the Democrats) They do not get off on telling us their plan, giving us their call to action, or making a compelling logical and reasoned argument for their moral standards or ideology. Somewhere along the way, we stopped demanding competence and started being entertained by their plan to destroy their opponent, and relish in their hatred of said opponent.
My anger resides in the fact that we are ignoring the problem, or problems, that are very much plaguing our society. The problems that realistically have the potential to create utter catastrophe. These problems cross party lines, lurking in every corner of the world. And, may I ask where are we? What is our government doing to protect us? That is a big fat nothing. They are participating in their own soap opera of playground fights, cliques, and childish antics. The scary part, is that sometime a long long time ago in a far away land, the first sparks of civilization were lit. Hunter-gatherer Tom realized that himself and familial unit had a better chance of survival and perpetuation of species if he got together with hunter-gatherer Dick and his group. After a while hunter-gatherer Harry, was like, "Whoa, I gotta get in on this. My favorite breeding partner was just killed by a saber-tooth tiger, and Tom and Dick seem relatively safe in their larger number, so I better join them." Thus, the very simplistic and short version of how civilization began. So, what they realized is that they would have to compromise and cooperate a certain amount to live a much safer life, with the happy possibility of a more consistent food supply, relative to what they had. What I am hearing from our politicians, locally and at the federal level is that on the cusp of 2015 we not longer can, nor understand how to do this and that the masses are really cheering this on. Furthermore, they cannot even act with a modicum of decency towards each other in the process. Which is why it can no longer happen in the great United States of America, the original "government by the people, for the people and of the people." Or, did Lincoln have that wrong 150 years ago after we slaughtered our brothers, cousins, and neighbors for what? Oh yeah, rigid, uncompromising, horse manure ideology.
For my whole adult voting life, I keep hearing things like, "Well, I am going to vote for so-and-so because he/she seems cool. Like I could really sit down and have a beer with them." That statement makes me want to vomit. There is fine line between relate-able politician and crazy drunk guy who has no composure. Who sounds like the dufus he/she is. Listen, I love getting beers with my friends, but that drunk guy hitting on us better not be my local politician. Unfortunately it seems to be getting a little too real. (Ahem Palin Family brawl, politicians with colloquial speech and mannerisms that just scream "Hello world, I am Hillbilly Dan from BFE, I care not about anything but my own grandiose ideas and nature) I want my politicians to be better than that. No more Huey P. Longs, no more Senator Joseph McCarthy's. NO MORE HICK DEMAGOGUES. What has your politician done for your community or yourself lately. How did they go about it and who did they alienate? I am happy that the crazy mom on the corner identifies with Sally Anderson, the candidate for the local election, but Sally Anderson is crazy, has identified herself clearly as crazy. Surely that is off-putting to crazy mom on the corner? Bachelor business owner Bob totally understands where misogynistic candidate Greg is coming from, he hates the rest of his platform, but Bob can totally get behind Greg's belief in where the woman's place lies. Despite the fact the Greg is an utter idiot, he will still get bachelor Bob's vote.
My wish list, for politicians consists of intellectual curiosity and honesty. Articulate, well spoken, and genuine. What I am tired of, are the chest thumping ignoramuses and the screechy cave women who are the antithesis of statesmen and women. They have been hired by the American people to perform a job, I could care less if I want to sit down and have a beer with them. That is the least of my worries. I want them to be better than me. I want them to be better than you. They have an important job. I am tired of going to work everyday, then coming home and realizing that I have navigated the terrain of daily life better than the people who are running the country, our states, and cities. That I have treated people more just and civil. That I not only had to compromise at work but also at home, for the sole purpose of making both entities run the best possible way. Realizing that because, even though I had to give up on something, in the long run it will ascertain better results for what is most important. And if you are reading this, think of all the things you have done today, yesterday, the week before, to get your business, the company you work for, or your family to run successfully or to keep your life running smoothly. Because, being a statesman is not about blindly falling on your sword to rest on your laurels, or protect a rigid ideology when said ideology was not meant to be rigid in the first place. It is not about relating to a candidate on a personal level, it is about picking someone who is going to do the best job possible. It is about reconciling everyone's needs, wants, and desires to create the most beneficial outcome for all. If Tom, Dick, and Harry, in their finite hunter-gatherer minds can realize this, I am at a loss as to why modern day American politicians find the concept so difficult. Be better than that-
Friday, October 24, 2014
The Soul Destroying Mission
Sometimes I fear that our driving skills and the comment sections of online articles are an indicator of the acceleration of the decline of the human race. People no longer pay attention to what they are doing on the roads hurtling forward in thousand pound death machines without a care in the world. If you read a comment section you'll see a variety of issues, from abhorrently poor reading comprehension skills to outright wickedness. Trolling aside, we are assholes in general. Though in most of my immediate and personal interaction with others, I am often reassured that maybe things are not so bad. Then, I try to sell concert tickets on Craigslist.
Here I am, you know me if you are reading this, sitting on 4, not 1 or 2 or 3, but FOUR tickets to a sold out show in Chicago that I no longer plan on attending, mostly because if I do, I will only be using 1 of the said tickets. (Sadly I listen to music that definitely does not interest my husband, or most friends for that matter.) So, in my naive mind I set out on this venture believing the following: This is going to be easy, it is a sold out show, electronic tickets. Meaning I just have to forward a simple email to the potential buyer who can send me the money electronically. We never have to meet, therefore, I do not have to fear being kidnapped, raped, and dismembered by some weirdo perusing Craigslist expressly for that reason, I do fully believe all of that is avoidable though. How horribly and soul destroying this logic proved.
It was not a simple transaction and people were actually mean. Not only were they mean, the mere mention of the fact that they were electronic tickets and not "hard copies" sent them on indignant tirades aimed squarely at my character and apparent stupidity at the notion that I must be a fool to think that I could trick them into my scam and web of lies. Because, apparently I am selling these tickets to multiple parties, sitting on a pile money laughing while victim upon victim is denied access from said concert. To them, my next step would be to put the money in some sort of offshore account, while I set up my new digs on a remote Caribbean island, where I will spend the rest of my life living in the lap of luxury subsidized by all my ill gained concert ticket money.
I am not sure why this is bothering me as much as it is. Do I really want to go to the concert, kind of, but I will be seeing the band a month later with my fantastic sister-in-law and her husband, probably the only 2 people on the planet who like similar music and going to shows with me. The fact that I bought the tickets, thinking I could entice a few friends to a free concert does not bother me, since it is at least the third time this has happened. It was the attack on my character by strangers who just assumed I was the kind of person who would screw them over. That is what bothers me. I consider myself an honest and relatively straight forward person. If you know me, I have the unfortunately talent of wearing every emotion that I am feeling at every moment directly on my face. I also hate being judged and I have always wanted people to like me, desperately. This whole Craigslist debacle has thrown in my direction all of my social fears in one fell swoop. Aside from all of that, it has sadly been a confirming experience in relation to my feelings of my fellow human beings. That we are more skeptical, un-trusting, willfully mean, and prone to disliking and judging others we come into contact with more than ever before.
Now every person on AIRBNB, or Craigslist, or our Uber driver is out to kill us, rape us, and dismember us. I am not saying that we should not remain vigilant or suspicious, but there is a line between hostile mistrust and healthy skepticism that we seem to have a hard time distinguishing. We hear the horror stories on a daily basis of the naively trusting being taken for a ride down the advantage highway. Grandpa is sending all of his money to a Nigerian prince, and our cousin's friend spent their paycheck on tickets from a "girl" in Kenosha who sold a bunch of e-tickets as a scam and they were not allowed into the concert. That woman on welfare is just abusing the system buying crab legs on food stamps and that man on disability and medicaid is just selling his Oxycontin making a giant profit. This just turns us into at the very least aggressively misguided in our interactions to establish our "positions", at worst, just plain bullies.
So, if we believe that everyone is equally awful until proven otherwise, where does that leave us? We do live in a hostile world, that is a fact, but what are our real threats? I have had some amazing experiences with my fellow human beings throughout the world. Strangers in small pubs in Norther Ireland, locals in Paris buying you dinner because they are stoked you came into their neighborhood restaurant, homeless people in San Diego smiling at you and wishing you good day even though you did not have a dollar to give them, and a Guatemalan taxi driver who takes you to his favorite restaurant and lets you use his cell phone to call back to the states because you gave him a chance to show you his country through his eyes. Not to mention the AIRBNB guests who have stayed at our place, or us staying at their place, giving us a glimpse into what makes them tick. I really could go on. But, if I treated everyone online with aggressive affirmation that, by God, they will not screw me over, or in person for that matter, there are so many things that I would have missed out on in life because that attitude is off-putting and who would want to open themselves up to a person like that? One of the biggest problems we face is the fact that we no longer have to fight for our survival, that is another blog post I will get into later, but it is also one of our biggest blessings. We do not really have to worry if the wine we buy is filled with a weird combination of things other than wine, or if an outlaw will appear out of the woods to slit our throats and steal our horses. There are big things now that we have to worry about though, that in the past we could have never imagined. Things that we can only overcome with the help of each other. We are a connected world, for the good and the bad, we need people to trust other people. We need other countries to trust other countries, and the like. We need to identify the real enemies, but we need to remain friendly and open. Sure there are dark entities amongst us, but if we allow them to take over our world view, then we are in danger of falling divided and alone.
Here I am, you know me if you are reading this, sitting on 4, not 1 or 2 or 3, but FOUR tickets to a sold out show in Chicago that I no longer plan on attending, mostly because if I do, I will only be using 1 of the said tickets. (Sadly I listen to music that definitely does not interest my husband, or most friends for that matter.) So, in my naive mind I set out on this venture believing the following: This is going to be easy, it is a sold out show, electronic tickets. Meaning I just have to forward a simple email to the potential buyer who can send me the money electronically. We never have to meet, therefore, I do not have to fear being kidnapped, raped, and dismembered by some weirdo perusing Craigslist expressly for that reason, I do fully believe all of that is avoidable though. How horribly and soul destroying this logic proved.
It was not a simple transaction and people were actually mean. Not only were they mean, the mere mention of the fact that they were electronic tickets and not "hard copies" sent them on indignant tirades aimed squarely at my character and apparent stupidity at the notion that I must be a fool to think that I could trick them into my scam and web of lies. Because, apparently I am selling these tickets to multiple parties, sitting on a pile money laughing while victim upon victim is denied access from said concert. To them, my next step would be to put the money in some sort of offshore account, while I set up my new digs on a remote Caribbean island, where I will spend the rest of my life living in the lap of luxury subsidized by all my ill gained concert ticket money.
I am not sure why this is bothering me as much as it is. Do I really want to go to the concert, kind of, but I will be seeing the band a month later with my fantastic sister-in-law and her husband, probably the only 2 people on the planet who like similar music and going to shows with me. The fact that I bought the tickets, thinking I could entice a few friends to a free concert does not bother me, since it is at least the third time this has happened. It was the attack on my character by strangers who just assumed I was the kind of person who would screw them over. That is what bothers me. I consider myself an honest and relatively straight forward person. If you know me, I have the unfortunately talent of wearing every emotion that I am feeling at every moment directly on my face. I also hate being judged and I have always wanted people to like me, desperately. This whole Craigslist debacle has thrown in my direction all of my social fears in one fell swoop. Aside from all of that, it has sadly been a confirming experience in relation to my feelings of my fellow human beings. That we are more skeptical, un-trusting, willfully mean, and prone to disliking and judging others we come into contact with more than ever before.
Now every person on AIRBNB, or Craigslist, or our Uber driver is out to kill us, rape us, and dismember us. I am not saying that we should not remain vigilant or suspicious, but there is a line between hostile mistrust and healthy skepticism that we seem to have a hard time distinguishing. We hear the horror stories on a daily basis of the naively trusting being taken for a ride down the advantage highway. Grandpa is sending all of his money to a Nigerian prince, and our cousin's friend spent their paycheck on tickets from a "girl" in Kenosha who sold a bunch of e-tickets as a scam and they were not allowed into the concert. That woman on welfare is just abusing the system buying crab legs on food stamps and that man on disability and medicaid is just selling his Oxycontin making a giant profit. This just turns us into at the very least aggressively misguided in our interactions to establish our "positions", at worst, just plain bullies.
So, if we believe that everyone is equally awful until proven otherwise, where does that leave us? We do live in a hostile world, that is a fact, but what are our real threats? I have had some amazing experiences with my fellow human beings throughout the world. Strangers in small pubs in Norther Ireland, locals in Paris buying you dinner because they are stoked you came into their neighborhood restaurant, homeless people in San Diego smiling at you and wishing you good day even though you did not have a dollar to give them, and a Guatemalan taxi driver who takes you to his favorite restaurant and lets you use his cell phone to call back to the states because you gave him a chance to show you his country through his eyes. Not to mention the AIRBNB guests who have stayed at our place, or us staying at their place, giving us a glimpse into what makes them tick. I really could go on. But, if I treated everyone online with aggressive affirmation that, by God, they will not screw me over, or in person for that matter, there are so many things that I would have missed out on in life because that attitude is off-putting and who would want to open themselves up to a person like that? One of the biggest problems we face is the fact that we no longer have to fight for our survival, that is another blog post I will get into later, but it is also one of our biggest blessings. We do not really have to worry if the wine we buy is filled with a weird combination of things other than wine, or if an outlaw will appear out of the woods to slit our throats and steal our horses. There are big things now that we have to worry about though, that in the past we could have never imagined. Things that we can only overcome with the help of each other. We are a connected world, for the good and the bad, we need people to trust other people. We need other countries to trust other countries, and the like. We need to identify the real enemies, but we need to remain friendly and open. Sure there are dark entities amongst us, but if we allow them to take over our world view, then we are in danger of falling divided and alone.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
My Generation
Another day, another handful of negative missives bitterly complaining about the Millennial Generation. We are rude, arrogant, know-it-alls. We wear awful cloths, have too much education, too little education. We are too over-zealous and driven at work, while inexplicably lazy and entitled at the same time. If there is anything wrong in the great wide world, or just in our own communities, apparently it is totally and utterly the fault of a generation who ironically lacks any sort of power, position, or wealth. If the devil and anti-Christ were summoned, the first to be blamed will be the generation of 80 million, 18-33 years, if we are not already the devil and anti-Christ combined. These negative screeds are not only churlish and childish, sometimes they are so off base I am confused by the disgust our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and older cousins possess towards us.
I not only take these personally because I am a millennial, but because I fall into the older bracket of the generation who experienced the brunt of the economic downturn. If you are shaking your head at my "entitlement complex" shake away. You are right, no I did not lose a house, or my retirement fund. And no, I did not have to declare bankruptcy or get my boat repossessed. And you know why, because I probably will never have the opportunity to acquire all that, especially on credit. What I lost was my job, the ability to be at a place in my career I deserve, any sort of respect from my Millennial hating mentors, and most devastatingly the idea of safety and security within our great American economic sphere. So here I sit, in one of my multiple jobs, looking at a younger generation and hoping it works out better for them. They they will not get cast under the tires of the run away bus like I did at 26. That my generation or anyone older will not disparage them at every turn, mocking their dreams and desires as that of a the lesser. Constantly degrading anything and everything associated with the time period they were born, while grouping everyone together as bad apples.
I work with a lot of and am clearly friends with many 18-33 somethings. What I have seen from them is the importance with which they value their family and friends.Valuing experiences over their next BMW, and lets face it, they are not the ones making the decision to lay-off workers over unsustainable profits for shareholders. I see young lawyers who, yes are driven by doing what they love. Passionate teachers and coaches who leave their all with those they influence. I know millenials who proudly create new tools and technology. I see marketing analysts and human resources managers who get up every day like their older co-workers, loyally providing for the company they work for, regardless of how loyal the company is to them. Furthermore, I see young mothers and fathers who are ridiculously attentive to their children, their health, and the betterment of this world.
What I do not see are poorly dressed slobs, who demand something for nothing. I do not see soulless drones who text and tweet their way through the day. The only entitlement I see is the demand for respect and that is not something so strange. I mean for God's sake, I am 32, married, own a home, a car, have multiple jobs, pay back my student loans every month, is there nothing good about this? Is it so offensive to want a little bit of respect? Or my friends who have children, and live a generally good and loving life. Is that not respectable? We go to church, we don't go to church, we have homes, we rent, we go on vacation and visit our families and vice versa. You get what I am saying, it is not so different from Generation X or the "'tweeners" or Baby Boomers. What I see less of are articles written by millenials complaining about how the Booomers left us with massive loads of debt. How the tweeners ran amok in our economy like bulls in the proverbial china shot. No, we are a forward facing generation and I am sorry, but not sorry that we want to move forward and do better. Not just for ourselves but for our children and others that come after us, because we are not so shortsighted to see that an indictment against them will be an indictment against us. So, the next time you older generations take to you computer to tackle the "problem generation" remember who was at the helm of everything in our most formative years.
I not only take these personally because I am a millennial, but because I fall into the older bracket of the generation who experienced the brunt of the economic downturn. If you are shaking your head at my "entitlement complex" shake away. You are right, no I did not lose a house, or my retirement fund. And no, I did not have to declare bankruptcy or get my boat repossessed. And you know why, because I probably will never have the opportunity to acquire all that, especially on credit. What I lost was my job, the ability to be at a place in my career I deserve, any sort of respect from my Millennial hating mentors, and most devastatingly the idea of safety and security within our great American economic sphere. So here I sit, in one of my multiple jobs, looking at a younger generation and hoping it works out better for them. They they will not get cast under the tires of the run away bus like I did at 26. That my generation or anyone older will not disparage them at every turn, mocking their dreams and desires as that of a the lesser. Constantly degrading anything and everything associated with the time period they were born, while grouping everyone together as bad apples.
I work with a lot of and am clearly friends with many 18-33 somethings. What I have seen from them is the importance with which they value their family and friends.Valuing experiences over their next BMW, and lets face it, they are not the ones making the decision to lay-off workers over unsustainable profits for shareholders. I see young lawyers who, yes are driven by doing what they love. Passionate teachers and coaches who leave their all with those they influence. I know millenials who proudly create new tools and technology. I see marketing analysts and human resources managers who get up every day like their older co-workers, loyally providing for the company they work for, regardless of how loyal the company is to them. Furthermore, I see young mothers and fathers who are ridiculously attentive to their children, their health, and the betterment of this world.
What I do not see are poorly dressed slobs, who demand something for nothing. I do not see soulless drones who text and tweet their way through the day. The only entitlement I see is the demand for respect and that is not something so strange. I mean for God's sake, I am 32, married, own a home, a car, have multiple jobs, pay back my student loans every month, is there nothing good about this? Is it so offensive to want a little bit of respect? Or my friends who have children, and live a generally good and loving life. Is that not respectable? We go to church, we don't go to church, we have homes, we rent, we go on vacation and visit our families and vice versa. You get what I am saying, it is not so different from Generation X or the "'tweeners" or Baby Boomers. What I see less of are articles written by millenials complaining about how the Booomers left us with massive loads of debt. How the tweeners ran amok in our economy like bulls in the proverbial china shot. No, we are a forward facing generation and I am sorry, but not sorry that we want to move forward and do better. Not just for ourselves but for our children and others that come after us, because we are not so shortsighted to see that an indictment against them will be an indictment against us. So, the next time you older generations take to you computer to tackle the "problem generation" remember who was at the helm of everything in our most formative years.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Thinking Critically
The past few weeks, I have attempted to keep up with the growing controversy related to the new AP US History curriculum put into effect this year. One reason is because, well, I love history and am a total dork about it. But, the second and more poignant reason is the fact that 500 kids walked out of their high schools in Colorado to protest their school boards attempts to "monitor" the course curriculum and materials, as well as censor the general gist of what they felt needs to be emphasized. Additionally, having been blessed with a TA-ship in grad school, in the Ethnic Studies department no less, the consequences of such controversy has a tremendous amount of importance to the future generations of our country, and their ability to learn, thrive, and more importantly critically think in more ways than one.
If you are unfamiliar with the issue, to put it simply, most conservatives hate the new curriculum believing it is too "America Hating" and the liberals are offended by this notion and I believe rightly so. During my brief stint in the Ethnic Studies department, I encountered a bitter hatred for hearing the stories that make up our America as we know it today. For every over-achiever or apathetic soul (they were mandatory credits) who I encountered there was one hostile individual who refused to even remotely acknowledged parts of history, completely on to the fact that I was a subversive individual hell bent on destroying America's reputation by spreading lies about how we treated Native Americans and later on immigrants. (I was being facetious with that last part.) As someone who loves to learn and believes intellectual curiosity to be the utmost virtue, I was completely and utterly insulted by these haunting souls. Even more so, I was saddened by the fact that they would not debate/discuss their own idea in discussion with me, that they took facts and evidence as flippant suggestions, and that they were totally never going to achieve what I feel is the most important goal of college. Critical thinking and confronting uncomfortable situations with the poise, grace and intellectual capability of Edmund Burke. (Ok that last one is a pipe dream, even for me) Critical thinking competency serves us well in our everyday lives, it is essential to our success and survival in our present world. What better way to develop this skill than in the humanities?
In my personal life I have made many horrible mistakes, now I might not have given a native population highly susceptible to the outside world's diseases blankets that were riddled with small pox germs, but there are plenty of situations I am still disappointed in myself with if not out right embarrassed by. But, I learn from them, still. Acknowledging these past mistakes means that in the present, as well as future, I can recall and learn for them. They remain in the recesses of my mind, ready to be pulled to the forefront when confronted by an uncomfortable situation to remind me of how better to conduct myself with understanding and humility. If we do not acknowledge faults within ourselves, we are forever doomed to behave the same, not matter our outcomes. No matter where we want to go or what we want to do. Our great nation is no different. We are a young country compared to many and like most there have been bumps along the way. But there have also been amazing times of greatness.
So the College Board describes their new curriculum as a, "framework for conveying the content and skills typically required for college credit and placement." People of America, I taught your college student as a TA, they were no where near this goal as 19 and 20 year old sophomores. I think it is a great goal for kids who want to take the extra steps of taking AP classes. However, many conservative groups across the country see it differently. To say they are threatened by this is so comically short sighted in the realm of anti-intellectualism, I would laugh if it did not shatter my heart to its true and utter core. I have always found this line of thinking distasteful because it follows a well rehearsed path of criticism that is totally paradoxical to critical thinking in and of itself. A good example the proposal, thankfully tabled, by a school board in Colorado after the student protest. It included a review of the text and course plans to ensure that they, "promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights." Ironically it would seem they are seeking to replace what they believe to be one ideological doctrine with another. I can just picture Barry Goldwater nodding with approval from his grave.
That is the crux of my whole argument. You can no more "teach" or indoctrinate a student on citizenship, patriotism, or blind obedience to authority than you can make fish live on land and a deer under water. These are concepts borne from our everyday experiences in life reconciled with the knowledge we obtain, be it at home, in the neighborhood, at school, in history class or math class. They ebb and flow through our minds to varying degrees year after year, month after month. I consider myself extremely lucky to be born in America, despite its history. I know it is a great country and that is why I am patriotic. I love my neighborhood and the people I deal with, which is why I in turn strive to be a good steward of citizenship. I also value our government, which is why I will never adhere to blind obedience to authority. It is a grave mistake to dispossess the youth of our nation the ability to develop their own thoughts and ideas based on their private experiences and grasp of the knowledge they receive. We cannot fear knowledge or intellectual curiosity obtained through our own devices. It will be the downfall of our great experiment.
If you are unfamiliar with the issue, to put it simply, most conservatives hate the new curriculum believing it is too "America Hating" and the liberals are offended by this notion and I believe rightly so. During my brief stint in the Ethnic Studies department, I encountered a bitter hatred for hearing the stories that make up our America as we know it today. For every over-achiever or apathetic soul (they were mandatory credits) who I encountered there was one hostile individual who refused to even remotely acknowledged parts of history, completely on to the fact that I was a subversive individual hell bent on destroying America's reputation by spreading lies about how we treated Native Americans and later on immigrants. (I was being facetious with that last part.) As someone who loves to learn and believes intellectual curiosity to be the utmost virtue, I was completely and utterly insulted by these haunting souls. Even more so, I was saddened by the fact that they would not debate/discuss their own idea in discussion with me, that they took facts and evidence as flippant suggestions, and that they were totally never going to achieve what I feel is the most important goal of college. Critical thinking and confronting uncomfortable situations with the poise, grace and intellectual capability of Edmund Burke. (Ok that last one is a pipe dream, even for me) Critical thinking competency serves us well in our everyday lives, it is essential to our success and survival in our present world. What better way to develop this skill than in the humanities?
In my personal life I have made many horrible mistakes, now I might not have given a native population highly susceptible to the outside world's diseases blankets that were riddled with small pox germs, but there are plenty of situations I am still disappointed in myself with if not out right embarrassed by. But, I learn from them, still. Acknowledging these past mistakes means that in the present, as well as future, I can recall and learn for them. They remain in the recesses of my mind, ready to be pulled to the forefront when confronted by an uncomfortable situation to remind me of how better to conduct myself with understanding and humility. If we do not acknowledge faults within ourselves, we are forever doomed to behave the same, not matter our outcomes. No matter where we want to go or what we want to do. Our great nation is no different. We are a young country compared to many and like most there have been bumps along the way. But there have also been amazing times of greatness.
So the College Board describes their new curriculum as a, "framework for conveying the content and skills typically required for college credit and placement." People of America, I taught your college student as a TA, they were no where near this goal as 19 and 20 year old sophomores. I think it is a great goal for kids who want to take the extra steps of taking AP classes. However, many conservative groups across the country see it differently. To say they are threatened by this is so comically short sighted in the realm of anti-intellectualism, I would laugh if it did not shatter my heart to its true and utter core. I have always found this line of thinking distasteful because it follows a well rehearsed path of criticism that is totally paradoxical to critical thinking in and of itself. A good example the proposal, thankfully tabled, by a school board in Colorado after the student protest. It included a review of the text and course plans to ensure that they, "promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights." Ironically it would seem they are seeking to replace what they believe to be one ideological doctrine with another. I can just picture Barry Goldwater nodding with approval from his grave.
That is the crux of my whole argument. You can no more "teach" or indoctrinate a student on citizenship, patriotism, or blind obedience to authority than you can make fish live on land and a deer under water. These are concepts borne from our everyday experiences in life reconciled with the knowledge we obtain, be it at home, in the neighborhood, at school, in history class or math class. They ebb and flow through our minds to varying degrees year after year, month after month. I consider myself extremely lucky to be born in America, despite its history. I know it is a great country and that is why I am patriotic. I love my neighborhood and the people I deal with, which is why I in turn strive to be a good steward of citizenship. I also value our government, which is why I will never adhere to blind obedience to authority. It is a grave mistake to dispossess the youth of our nation the ability to develop their own thoughts and ideas based on their private experiences and grasp of the knowledge they receive. We cannot fear knowledge or intellectual curiosity obtained through our own devices. It will be the downfall of our great experiment.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Word
With the recent suspension of Bill Simmons from ESPN, which I think is a total load of bullsh*#, (#freebillsimmons) I started thinking more about words and the potential and real power they hold over their audience. If you are unawares of the story, he was suspended for 3 weeks for calling Roger Goddell a liar, essentially calling a spade a spade. But, I digress. ESPN is paid a massive sum by the NFL, it is a private company and they have a right to deal with the situation that clearly could have an effect on their business. Ironically, very much like the whole Phil Robertson being suspended by A&E for his cold declaration of thoughts on homosexuality. Both men said their peace, suffered the consequences of remarks in a private manner and the situation will be forgotten no matter how many people think either man was unjustly treated for stating opinions. For some reason, we tend to forget that the first amendment does not protect us from the consequences of our free speech in the private world, it only makes clear we have a right to say what we feel in the public sphere without fear of prosecution from the government.
But, what happens when those who use their speech for utterly irresponsible purposes, under the guise of beliefs, ideology, campaigning, general demagoguery and the likes without any sense of consequences? How can we as an educated society not hold them responsible for their irresponsible use of oratory or written practices? Because lately we are just letting people spout off large piles of virile male cow dung without proper responses and that is dangerous. I am guilty of letting is slide for sure. Why start an issue when facts, truth, compassion or empathy no longer matter in forming our ideas of the world at large? It is like we have reduced ourselves to the middle ages, where we let people tell us what we should believe. Here is where the issue is really starting to bother me, it is getting to the point where we are letting people outright LIE to us and those around us with not much more than a shrug of the shoulders. If it is not an outright lie, it is the most ignorant unintelligible idea ever being uttered with no challenge in sight. This is DANGEROUS. This is how angry mobs start, it is how fighting, wars, and persecution begin. I am not being an alarmist, go pick up a history book. Read about the Salem witch trials, listen to an Adolf Hitler speech in 1933. Why do you think places like China and Russia restrict certain forms of speech? The ultimate paradox of words, the have the great potential to create knowledge, but they also have to great potential to cause great harm to the human race.
I am bringing this up simply to remind us that words have tremendous power. We need to wield them wisely and justly. Fresh from reading an article about present day negative Muslim sentiments in American society, (because apparently we no longer can distinguish bad guys from good guys. Also there are A LOT of despicable people in the world who call themselves a Christian or a Jew, does not make all of them bad. However, apparently some of us does not posses the logic to go that far.) I thought this post was even more apropos than ever. From the completely ignorant Oklahoma State Senator calling the religion a "Cancer that needs to be cut from the world." To the Kenosha lady I had to great pleasure to disagree with a few years back who refused to believe what she thought the religion practiced to be wrong, and it was very very very very very wrong. (By the way I was fresh off a course about the Crusades and a family member conversion to the religion, she was out of her league in this argument.) What pained me the most in this conversation, aside from the fact that she had no facts, was that she using what her "pastor" told her as a defense. Clearly her "pastor" was either ridiculously ignorant of the facts himself or was out right lying, which I am more prone to believe. Like the Oklahoma Senator, or any other politician for that matter, it has been practice du jour for them as of recent to incite dark emotion to elicit votes or followers. From Michele Bachmann to Debbie Wasserman Shultz (I might lean liberal, but took great offense at her light reference in comparing the state of WI to an abused woman.) the dark shit oozing from their upper orifices in wholly irresponsible.
Words equal power. Words call people to action. Lately, we the people, have not be very discriminatory on who, what, and why we are listening. We take celebrities, with negligible education, who feign knowledge on a subject at face value. We argue with our doctors, dentists, lawyer, and what not because we've "heard" differently from somewhere else. We spread vitriolic articles, blog posts, and manifestos without stopping and taking the time to think of what they are actually saying. We ignore real facts because they do not jibe with what we want to believe and we do not question those who play our emotions like a fiddle during a square dancing session. Words can be dangerous. Read them critically, write them contentiously, speak them justly, and share them warily. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
But, what happens when those who use their speech for utterly irresponsible purposes, under the guise of beliefs, ideology, campaigning, general demagoguery and the likes without any sense of consequences? How can we as an educated society not hold them responsible for their irresponsible use of oratory or written practices? Because lately we are just letting people spout off large piles of virile male cow dung without proper responses and that is dangerous. I am guilty of letting is slide for sure. Why start an issue when facts, truth, compassion or empathy no longer matter in forming our ideas of the world at large? It is like we have reduced ourselves to the middle ages, where we let people tell us what we should believe. Here is where the issue is really starting to bother me, it is getting to the point where we are letting people outright LIE to us and those around us with not much more than a shrug of the shoulders. If it is not an outright lie, it is the most ignorant unintelligible idea ever being uttered with no challenge in sight. This is DANGEROUS. This is how angry mobs start, it is how fighting, wars, and persecution begin. I am not being an alarmist, go pick up a history book. Read about the Salem witch trials, listen to an Adolf Hitler speech in 1933. Why do you think places like China and Russia restrict certain forms of speech? The ultimate paradox of words, the have the great potential to create knowledge, but they also have to great potential to cause great harm to the human race.
I am bringing this up simply to remind us that words have tremendous power. We need to wield them wisely and justly. Fresh from reading an article about present day negative Muslim sentiments in American society, (because apparently we no longer can distinguish bad guys from good guys. Also there are A LOT of despicable people in the world who call themselves a Christian or a Jew, does not make all of them bad. However, apparently some of us does not posses the logic to go that far.) I thought this post was even more apropos than ever. From the completely ignorant Oklahoma State Senator calling the religion a "Cancer that needs to be cut from the world." To the Kenosha lady I had to great pleasure to disagree with a few years back who refused to believe what she thought the religion practiced to be wrong, and it was very very very very very wrong. (By the way I was fresh off a course about the Crusades and a family member conversion to the religion, she was out of her league in this argument.) What pained me the most in this conversation, aside from the fact that she had no facts, was that she using what her "pastor" told her as a defense. Clearly her "pastor" was either ridiculously ignorant of the facts himself or was out right lying, which I am more prone to believe. Like the Oklahoma Senator, or any other politician for that matter, it has been practice du jour for them as of recent to incite dark emotion to elicit votes or followers. From Michele Bachmann to Debbie Wasserman Shultz (I might lean liberal, but took great offense at her light reference in comparing the state of WI to an abused woman.) the dark shit oozing from their upper orifices in wholly irresponsible.
Words equal power. Words call people to action. Lately, we the people, have not be very discriminatory on who, what, and why we are listening. We take celebrities, with negligible education, who feign knowledge on a subject at face value. We argue with our doctors, dentists, lawyer, and what not because we've "heard" differently from somewhere else. We spread vitriolic articles, blog posts, and manifestos without stopping and taking the time to think of what they are actually saying. We ignore real facts because they do not jibe with what we want to believe and we do not question those who play our emotions like a fiddle during a square dancing session. Words can be dangerous. Read them critically, write them contentiously, speak them justly, and share them warily. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Deep Thoughts from Wino Wednesday's
Wednesday night happens to be the night of one of my most cherished long standing traditions, which I do not have many of these days. In fact, it currently happens to be my only long standing tradition, which is probably what I look forward to it so much. It is Wednesday night with the girls. A night were we usually workout, eat, drink wine, and totally lay everything on the table in mostly reassuring discussions. Last nights topics happens to be one of my favorites, mostly because I obsess about the topic. It is a topic borne out of frustration and I was given the opportunity to hear others opinions on a problem people rarely admit to. I will title the conversation hence forth as, "How does one shit rainbows?" Come on people, you all know what I am talking about.
Last night there were 3 different ladies, with three totally different life experiences. Different things effect us and that is why the conversation was just frustratingly therapeutic in a rich way. We all just simply wanted to know why it seems that some people just shit rainbows, all the time, all day, every day. From the opposite sex who casually walks about their life with just explosive diarrhea of rainbows (although I am pretty sure when my husband married the woman who walked under a thousand ladders, broke a million mirrors, was a horrible person, probably Hitler, in a past like, his luck, karma and ability to "shit rainbow" was quashed. Sorry!), to the acquaintance of FB with posts equating their life to something like skipping through a field of daisies while squirting out a rainbow with every step. (Though we all know these people to be frauds, it is still frustrating how obstinate they are about admitting adversity.) To the coworker or friend who love their job/life/kids/world so much they are marking everything up with their stupid rainbows. They never get laid-off, never fight with their kid of significant other, everything is always coming up roses.
What it seems to boil down to was that everyone wants success in their own way. Wanting your own success does not in anyway diminish happiness for other peoples success. It just gets frustrating watching it "happen" for everyone but yourself. For us, it was more about wondering when it was our turn? When would it be our time to shit rainbows for once? Everybody's success is different, some is fleeting and some sticks around for life. Sometimes it seems like days, weeks, months and years that we are floating around in life's not so pleasant excrement just waiting, working, searching for a glimmer of hope and color. Sometimes hard work is rewarded, sometimes nepotism, some time lies and manipulation, and sometime it is just frustrating when everyone around you seems to be winning but you. I think acknowledging as much actually sets you a little more free to search than you were before. It allows you to proceed with change. Success is not always tangible or materialistic. My 2 friends are raising 3 kids with the ridiculously bests personalities. Those kids reflect the love, warmth, and openness that resides in their homes and that is a giant success.
I think in retrospect, a big difference is that three of us are very authentic souls. We have a hard time grinning and bearing it through gritted teeth. When people hurt us they know, when we are hurting we are not ashamed, and when we fail it is for most to see. We have known each other for a decade, and we not only wear our hearts on our sleeves for ourselves, but for everyone else. Not everyone does that, and that is also certainly OK. But sometimes it is comforting to know others struggle along side of us, especially if it can be a shared experience. We can learn and help each other. We can share love, pain, and happiness. (We can also share wine and the inexplicable experience of watching Sharknado) We might still be searching for something but at least we are searching together and that itself is a rainbow. Our lives might not be perfect, we might not know where we are going, or how to get out of Bayview for that matter, but at least we still have hope that things are out there for us. For everyone out there, even if we think we are failing at times for a day, weeks, months, or years most of our failure is borne out of our own perception. Who knows, we might even be shitting rainbows to other people.
Last night there were 3 different ladies, with three totally different life experiences. Different things effect us and that is why the conversation was just frustratingly therapeutic in a rich way. We all just simply wanted to know why it seems that some people just shit rainbows, all the time, all day, every day. From the opposite sex who casually walks about their life with just explosive diarrhea of rainbows (although I am pretty sure when my husband married the woman who walked under a thousand ladders, broke a million mirrors, was a horrible person, probably Hitler, in a past like, his luck, karma and ability to "shit rainbow" was quashed. Sorry!), to the acquaintance of FB with posts equating their life to something like skipping through a field of daisies while squirting out a rainbow with every step. (Though we all know these people to be frauds, it is still frustrating how obstinate they are about admitting adversity.) To the coworker or friend who love their job/life/kids/world so much they are marking everything up with their stupid rainbows. They never get laid-off, never fight with their kid of significant other, everything is always coming up roses.
What it seems to boil down to was that everyone wants success in their own way. Wanting your own success does not in anyway diminish happiness for other peoples success. It just gets frustrating watching it "happen" for everyone but yourself. For us, it was more about wondering when it was our turn? When would it be our time to shit rainbows for once? Everybody's success is different, some is fleeting and some sticks around for life. Sometimes it seems like days, weeks, months and years that we are floating around in life's not so pleasant excrement just waiting, working, searching for a glimmer of hope and color. Sometimes hard work is rewarded, sometimes nepotism, some time lies and manipulation, and sometime it is just frustrating when everyone around you seems to be winning but you. I think acknowledging as much actually sets you a little more free to search than you were before. It allows you to proceed with change. Success is not always tangible or materialistic. My 2 friends are raising 3 kids with the ridiculously bests personalities. Those kids reflect the love, warmth, and openness that resides in their homes and that is a giant success.
I think in retrospect, a big difference is that three of us are very authentic souls. We have a hard time grinning and bearing it through gritted teeth. When people hurt us they know, when we are hurting we are not ashamed, and when we fail it is for most to see. We have known each other for a decade, and we not only wear our hearts on our sleeves for ourselves, but for everyone else. Not everyone does that, and that is also certainly OK. But sometimes it is comforting to know others struggle along side of us, especially if it can be a shared experience. We can learn and help each other. We can share love, pain, and happiness. (We can also share wine and the inexplicable experience of watching Sharknado) We might still be searching for something but at least we are searching together and that itself is a rainbow. Our lives might not be perfect, we might not know where we are going, or how to get out of Bayview for that matter, but at least we still have hope that things are out there for us. For everyone out there, even if we think we are failing at times for a day, weeks, months, or years most of our failure is borne out of our own perception. Who knows, we might even be shitting rainbows to other people.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Plight of the Refugee
If you have not heard about the plight of the Yazidi people in Iraq by now you need to. If you do not know the general state of the refugee world, that should be a crime. Many American's have this uncanny knack to just avoid all bad in general, including the news. I say, why? When John F. Kennedy was elected to the presidency in 1960, many can recall one simple sentance from his innagural address, "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." But to really know what he is trying to convey, you have to read his whole address. He was essentially asking for a new world, with law and order, with cooperation and prosperity. Most of all, he wanted his fellow Americans to not only participate in this new world, he wanted them to have a hand in creating it. What a better way to create that dream than by helping our fellow man in need, no matter how near or far. Our difference do not make us immune to the most common of human emotions, fear, suffering, sadness, joy, and happiness. Kennedy was predicting, in the dawn of the this globalized era, that Americans would have to play their part in order for the world to prosper. Do we have problems in our country? Most decidedly yes, can we overcome them and help others, definitely. But will we be able to sustain our success in a globalized world with increasing isolation of knowledge and understanding of the worlds problems? No.
We have so many rights and privileges it is hard for us to even comprehend just fighting for the simple right to survive. Beyond the right to survive, it is to survive in the way we fought for over 200 years ago. To be the makers of our own destiny, whether that be continue practiced religions, remain the master of our households without fear of what is outside, or simply, to go to school and get an education to help our family or country. The right to survive is not something that is granted around the world. It is so easy for us to say it is not our problem, to dismiss their plight because they are so far away. If we (and I include the EU, Australia, and our other Eastern Hemisphere allies, Japan, South Korea, etc) refuse to stand up to tyranny now, if we leave it unchecked, then what will we do when it comes knocking on our door, as it did on September 11, 2001, or with the recent downing of flight MH17.
When you look at something or someone in need and no longer see it as humanities' duty, but a "political problem" you have lost the heart and soul of a human being. When we can reduce a group of peoples suffering down to "not our problem" you have lost the right to reach out when your time of need comes. I have always been flabbergasted and disgusted with our nations history to be so angry, bitter, and content with allowing others around the world to remain at the mercy and struggle of their unstable regions. It is like saying, "#Blessed" because you were born in the U.S. You were not "#Blessed." It is high time we realize we are freaking LUCKY. We are not so special that when we were some little seedling we got to chose, so lets stop pretending we are better simply for being American. The worlds problems are our problems, and in modern times have always been our problem. What sets humanity apart from the animal kingdom is our empathy, sympathy, and higher thought. Lets restore what makes us the superior being and have some compassion when looking at the plight of others, especially refugees. Americans should WANT to deal with this, we should WANT to help. No one is forcing us to, but how can we turn a blind eye to this suffering. Many believe we are "Christian Nation" if that is true than we need to make our sacrifice to help these people in need. If we don't, if we cannot muster the courage to reach out, then we need to stop pretending to be something we are not.
Kennedy's dream for this long forgotten address, "So let us begin anew--remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." Let us prove ourselves worthy of the title of the Greatest Nation. Let us become a beacon of hope, instead of hording it for ourselves. Only when we become brave enough to stand up to evil will we begin to feel the true meaning of freedom and liberty. Kennedy's vision inspires me, it is what being an American means to me. To see the fear in the eyes of the Palestinian child or the tears of relief and profound sadness in the eyes of the Yazidi who escaped, the distended bellies to the Somalian's feeling starvation and Al-Shaabab, the continued slaughter in South Sudan, and the children risking life and limb from Central America hoping for a life away from drugs, gangs, violence and enduring poverty makes it difficult to really sit in my comfy house every night safe and snug.
But that is what unites us human beings. When we are united in suffering and triumph, only then are we free. It is Kennedy's true call to arms that I will leave you with, because it is more important now than ever, "Now the trumpet summons us again-not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need--not as a call to battle, though embattled we are--but a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation"--a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease and war itself. Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will you join in that historic effort?" If we can't do it now, then when can we? We owe more to each other as fellow human being than we will ever realize.
(On a side note, I can't even search for pictures of children from the Gaza strip because it is to graphic and horrifying to look at)
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Total Disgust
I do not have children, mostly because I find it absolutely scary to love something so uncontrollably. Just the terrifying idea of loving something so much almost causes an anxiety attack. I am often told that I actually have no idea the kind of love you feel for your own child and while that is true, I also never imagined how I would feel about my family and friends as I grew older. The way I feel about my husband is more intense than I also ever thought, and the way I love my niece and nephews is suffocating. So no, I do not know what it is like to love my own child, but I can imagine. Part of my fear is knowing that at any moment that precious, innocent thing can be ripped from the clutches of your heart at moments notice. In the process leaving an gaping, oozing wound that will never be healed, creating an empty feeling down to your very soul. At least that is what I imagine losing a child feels like. Which is why I felt the need to write this blog. I can no longer turn on the radio on my way to work and listen to BBC news tell me of another airstrike or mortar round killing children in Gaza. (And NO to all my American friends who say, "Don't listen to the news." We should all listen to the news no matter how much it hurts, how confusing the feeling leaves us. If we do not know what is going on in the world we will never have a voice in standing up to it.)
I can no longer listen to Lt. Col. Peter Lerner describe such atrocities with buzzwords, such as "unfortunate" and "moving forward" and things like that. I no longer want to hear Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu justifying such deaths as the fault of Hamas, who first used them as human shields. When you kill four innocent children playing on beach, or three siblings feeding pigeons on a roof, or those in the UN school this morning, sleeping soundly and falsely believing they are finally safe, there is no justification, there are no buzzwords that are going to make it better. There is nothing you can do, but profusely and emotionally apologize to the families whose hearts have been ripped from their chests. The only imagery I can muster when I hear them, are those creepy old bosses who grab your arm and make you hit yourself while thinking it is funny, not weird. Or the socially awkward friend you hate going out with who drinks too much and thinks everyone is picking a fight with them. They make excuses for their behavior because they cannot control it. This whole conflict has become a sad side-show of over-aggression and heartlessness. It is sorely lacking the human element that just makes it so easy to excuse the deaths of innocent women and children.
Those in Hamas who are using civilians as shields have souls blacker than any anti-Christ could ever muster topped with a giant dose of cowardice. Those in Israel who quickly justify killing said shields are not far behind. It is a shame that in 2014 we are still excusing civilian casualties as a tragic consequence of war. What is the worst part about our the hideous world we live in is that we are allowing the victims to be blamed. The last time I thought long and hard about being born, I cannot remember anything about it. I certainly do not remember sitting around discussing to someone or something that I wanted to be born as Shannon Devine from Minnesota, tall, white, blonde and able bodied. Just like I did not get to chose the who, how and where I was born, neither did these poor Palestinian children. Furthermore, they did not get to say, "Hey, Hamas, come and infiltrate Gaza Strip. While you are at it, why don't your recruit all of our brothers who feel hopelessly trapped in a situation they also cannot control. Sure, take over our meager existences and while you are at, why not poke the bear who sleeps next to us and controls every aspect of our life."
As this conflict wears on, I am losing my patience in a world that should feel ashamed of itself. Ukranian rebels who are becoming delusionally more and more dangerous by the minute and their Russian backing increasingly belligerent. Truly becoming the abusive partner who beats up their significant other, all the while again blaming the victim. (Insert whatever title he is giving himself these days) Vladamir Putin's response is pretty much summed up by one sentence, (as he is wiping the blood from his hands) "See, look what you make me do when I am angry." (Complete with a cliched Russian accent) So more innocent lives lost, we chalk it up to another casualty in the fog of war. We do demand accountability on any ones part. We bicker over this and that while innocent families are looking for answers to a tragedy they never though would touch them in a million years.
There is no glory in killing someone, regardless of how you feel. Snuffing out a mortal soul before its time is more than just a tragedy, it is an abomination of humanity. Land, pride, nationalism, religion, power, and greed are never worth a human life, much less a child's. So I beg you with all that is holy, if anything truly is holy anymore, to stop murdering innocent civilians. If you cannot manage to do that, I ask that you deliver the words of your apology with the emotions of a human being who realizes they truly and utterly fu@&ed up. No more buzzwords, no more justification. Take responsibility for what you are doing and beg those mothers, fathers, orphans, families, and friends for the grace of forgiveness, all of which you have not bestowed upon them. I do not care if you cry, if you retch in pain and humiliation, if you get on your hands and knees, but the killing of children deserves outrage and emotion. It deserves more than the standard, "This was an unfortunate mistake, with unintended consequences. Going forward we will make sure that we will bomb cities with the utmost surgical precision."
I can no longer listen to Lt. Col. Peter Lerner describe such atrocities with buzzwords, such as "unfortunate" and "moving forward" and things like that. I no longer want to hear Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu justifying such deaths as the fault of Hamas, who first used them as human shields. When you kill four innocent children playing on beach, or three siblings feeding pigeons on a roof, or those in the UN school this morning, sleeping soundly and falsely believing they are finally safe, there is no justification, there are no buzzwords that are going to make it better. There is nothing you can do, but profusely and emotionally apologize to the families whose hearts have been ripped from their chests. The only imagery I can muster when I hear them, are those creepy old bosses who grab your arm and make you hit yourself while thinking it is funny, not weird. Or the socially awkward friend you hate going out with who drinks too much and thinks everyone is picking a fight with them. They make excuses for their behavior because they cannot control it. This whole conflict has become a sad side-show of over-aggression and heartlessness. It is sorely lacking the human element that just makes it so easy to excuse the deaths of innocent women and children.
Those in Hamas who are using civilians as shields have souls blacker than any anti-Christ could ever muster topped with a giant dose of cowardice. Those in Israel who quickly justify killing said shields are not far behind. It is a shame that in 2014 we are still excusing civilian casualties as a tragic consequence of war. What is the worst part about our the hideous world we live in is that we are allowing the victims to be blamed. The last time I thought long and hard about being born, I cannot remember anything about it. I certainly do not remember sitting around discussing to someone or something that I wanted to be born as Shannon Devine from Minnesota, tall, white, blonde and able bodied. Just like I did not get to chose the who, how and where I was born, neither did these poor Palestinian children. Furthermore, they did not get to say, "Hey, Hamas, come and infiltrate Gaza Strip. While you are at it, why don't your recruit all of our brothers who feel hopelessly trapped in a situation they also cannot control. Sure, take over our meager existences and while you are at, why not poke the bear who sleeps next to us and controls every aspect of our life."
As this conflict wears on, I am losing my patience in a world that should feel ashamed of itself. Ukranian rebels who are becoming delusionally more and more dangerous by the minute and their Russian backing increasingly belligerent. Truly becoming the abusive partner who beats up their significant other, all the while again blaming the victim. (Insert whatever title he is giving himself these days) Vladamir Putin's response is pretty much summed up by one sentence, (as he is wiping the blood from his hands) "See, look what you make me do when I am angry." (Complete with a cliched Russian accent) So more innocent lives lost, we chalk it up to another casualty in the fog of war. We do demand accountability on any ones part. We bicker over this and that while innocent families are looking for answers to a tragedy they never though would touch them in a million years.
There is no glory in killing someone, regardless of how you feel. Snuffing out a mortal soul before its time is more than just a tragedy, it is an abomination of humanity. Land, pride, nationalism, religion, power, and greed are never worth a human life, much less a child's. So I beg you with all that is holy, if anything truly is holy anymore, to stop murdering innocent civilians. If you cannot manage to do that, I ask that you deliver the words of your apology with the emotions of a human being who realizes they truly and utterly fu@&ed up. No more buzzwords, no more justification. Take responsibility for what you are doing and beg those mothers, fathers, orphans, families, and friends for the grace of forgiveness, all of which you have not bestowed upon them. I do not care if you cry, if you retch in pain and humiliation, if you get on your hands and knees, but the killing of children deserves outrage and emotion. It deserves more than the standard, "This was an unfortunate mistake, with unintended consequences. Going forward we will make sure that we will bomb cities with the utmost surgical precision."
Thursday, June 26, 2014
The Ugliest of Trolls
America's favorite troll is at it again, and I do not mean the cute ones with blue frizzy hair that stands on end. I am talking about the woman who is so possessed with empty anger, rage, and decay that you cannot feel anything but pity for her. That is right, I am talking about Ann Coulter. If you have not read her gem of an article yet, here is a link to it. http://www.clarionledger.com/story/opinion/columnists/2014/06/25/coulter-growing-interest-soccer-sign-nations-moral-decay/11372137/
If I get a little "upset" while writing this, I have to apologize. You see I just spent the last hour and a half on me feet, cheering, clapping and in general willing USA to victory. Though we did not come out victorious, we did earn, and I mean EARN our spot to move one! YEAH! So I am more than slightly offended by this article. I am absolutely abhorred, more so than the fact that she is actually a syndicated columnist. Which I did not think was possible.
She starts her incredible un-American rant by stating, "I've held off writing about soccer for a decade-" Great, because she clearly knows nothing about the sport, which is evident the more you read the column. It is also incredibly irrational and by her logic, then yes, anytime America gets behind its national team (of course except when it is Football, not a international sport anyway, basketball or baseball, the only 3 acceptable sports) competing in a world event it screams moral decay. Anytime you cheer on Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps and the hordes of American athletes who devote entire lives to representing their country with pride, you are contributing to the downfall of our society. If that is the case, then please, I will be in line first.
As an athlete it is also clear this woman has probably never held a ball that was not old and wrinkly. If Ms. Coulter was ever an athlete then she would know that individual achievement is not why you compete. Individual achievement does not, will not, and never has won a team sport. I have proudly bled, sweat, cried and rejoiced with my teammates. THEY ARE MY MOST TREASURED MEMORIES. Not a single basket in a basketball game and not a single kill in a volleyball game. Though, since she expounds on individuality as crutch to protect her insecure nature when it comes to relationships with other human beings, again I have to have pity in that, she has probably never hugged her teammate after a clutch three pointer, never slapped hands so hard with her setter for stuffing a giant middle blocker. Never felt the magical shift in an intense game that starts to go your way because your teammate did something fabulous.
In addition Ms. Coulter is incapable of parsing out anything positive in general about anything, she is the ultimate Debbie Downer. (She probably just needs a hug, can we start a campaign to raise money to pay someone to hug her?) But, more so she is wholly incapable of see the skill, beauty or cunning that is displayed in soccer. It is a sport where the biggest and baddest does not always win. Skill, wit, and drive out play the physicality, which in my opinion makes the game fantastic. Any brute can put on pads and slam each other over and over and over again until they are incapable of sadly completing a coherent sentence and drooling, which is not funny. They are killing themselves for our pleasure. What is so special about that? Oh of course, in her opinion it is the brutality. The injuries. In a woman whose dogmatic nature is going for the jugular and the weakest always first and foremost, of course that is what would appeal.
Apparently, Ms. Coulter does not know that our team captain broke his nose in the first half of the first game. She is also unaware that they set the break on the field, he got up, spit out blood and has been playing ever since. Can we name a basketball player or baseball player that has done that lately? So apologies form the soccer world to Ms. Coulter if you do not fancy the game violent enough for your bad self. Not enough head trauma or compound fractures for her. It seems she would prefer the Roman Colosseum over any sport, and if that is the case then please, Ms. Coulter, you go first. Put your money where your mouth is. If you are too scared, then let me challenge you to a basketball game...one on one. No one in America has ever or will ever be force fed to watch soccer, furthermore. Anyone who is remotely interested in the sport actually knows how difficult it is to watch it. (I am not even going to get into the salaries and incarceration rates, or preposterous behavior of a majority our professional athletes)
Of course Ms. Coulter has to turn the sport into something political. She mistakenly believes it is her wheelhouse. But, I do feel we can forgive this because, lets face it, her demagoguery has created a nice little niche market for her. Something along the lines of what Huey Long and Charles Manson were able to create, mindless followers who fed off negative filth. Ugly people only have ugly words. If one her biggest complaints is that is is foreign, then please, she needs to give up on her conservatism. Any good conservative knows the basic foundation was founded from the likes of Edmund Burke and he was foreign. Not to mention Ayn Rand...yep she was RUSSIAN which means she was FOREIGN. Not to mention our good old Democratic government. Yep, a foreign idea as well.
She ends her little ditty with a gem of a quote, "No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer." Ms. Coulter is false, totally false and pompous and 100% ignorant. (again why syndication??) I am as American as they come. I am also an athlete and here is what I can tell you, which is the truth. Again, I apologize because this is where I am going to get emotional. There was nothing more American than watching my American team fight. They fought from a bad position, from an underdog status. Nothing screams USA like overcoming the shit thrown at you and rising above it to succeed. Those 23 men, they exude what it means to be an American. Being able to watch some of my favorite players come home and fight with glory, defiance and pride for our country is something I more than cherish. I am American, and I am bursting with pride for Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Jermaine Jones, Fabian Johnson, Michael Bradley, Jozy Altidore, Aron Johannsson, Kyle Bekerman, Mix Diskerud, Chris Wondolowski, DaMarcus Beasely, DeAndre Yedlin, Graham Zusi, Omar Gonzalez, Geoff Cameron, Brad Davis, Timothy Chandler, Alejandro Bedyoa, Matt Besler, Brad Guzan, John Brooks, Julian Green, and Nick Rimando. If Ms. Coulter can not muster the goodwill to have respect then she should do what my mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, then DO NOT say anything at all." I am just gonna say....GO USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I get a little "upset" while writing this, I have to apologize. You see I just spent the last hour and a half on me feet, cheering, clapping and in general willing USA to victory. Though we did not come out victorious, we did earn, and I mean EARN our spot to move one! YEAH! So I am more than slightly offended by this article. I am absolutely abhorred, more so than the fact that she is actually a syndicated columnist. Which I did not think was possible.
She starts her incredible un-American rant by stating, "I've held off writing about soccer for a decade-" Great, because she clearly knows nothing about the sport, which is evident the more you read the column. It is also incredibly irrational and by her logic, then yes, anytime America gets behind its national team (of course except when it is Football, not a international sport anyway, basketball or baseball, the only 3 acceptable sports) competing in a world event it screams moral decay. Anytime you cheer on Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps and the hordes of American athletes who devote entire lives to representing their country with pride, you are contributing to the downfall of our society. If that is the case, then please, I will be in line first.
As an athlete it is also clear this woman has probably never held a ball that was not old and wrinkly. If Ms. Coulter was ever an athlete then she would know that individual achievement is not why you compete. Individual achievement does not, will not, and never has won a team sport. I have proudly bled, sweat, cried and rejoiced with my teammates. THEY ARE MY MOST TREASURED MEMORIES. Not a single basket in a basketball game and not a single kill in a volleyball game. Though, since she expounds on individuality as crutch to protect her insecure nature when it comes to relationships with other human beings, again I have to have pity in that, she has probably never hugged her teammate after a clutch three pointer, never slapped hands so hard with her setter for stuffing a giant middle blocker. Never felt the magical shift in an intense game that starts to go your way because your teammate did something fabulous.
In addition Ms. Coulter is incapable of parsing out anything positive in general about anything, she is the ultimate Debbie Downer. (She probably just needs a hug, can we start a campaign to raise money to pay someone to hug her?) But, more so she is wholly incapable of see the skill, beauty or cunning that is displayed in soccer. It is a sport where the biggest and baddest does not always win. Skill, wit, and drive out play the physicality, which in my opinion makes the game fantastic. Any brute can put on pads and slam each other over and over and over again until they are incapable of sadly completing a coherent sentence and drooling, which is not funny. They are killing themselves for our pleasure. What is so special about that? Oh of course, in her opinion it is the brutality. The injuries. In a woman whose dogmatic nature is going for the jugular and the weakest always first and foremost, of course that is what would appeal.
Apparently, Ms. Coulter does not know that our team captain broke his nose in the first half of the first game. She is also unaware that they set the break on the field, he got up, spit out blood and has been playing ever since. Can we name a basketball player or baseball player that has done that lately? So apologies form the soccer world to Ms. Coulter if you do not fancy the game violent enough for your bad self. Not enough head trauma or compound fractures for her. It seems she would prefer the Roman Colosseum over any sport, and if that is the case then please, Ms. Coulter, you go first. Put your money where your mouth is. If you are too scared, then let me challenge you to a basketball game...one on one. No one in America has ever or will ever be force fed to watch soccer, furthermore. Anyone who is remotely interested in the sport actually knows how difficult it is to watch it. (I am not even going to get into the salaries and incarceration rates, or preposterous behavior of a majority our professional athletes)
Of course Ms. Coulter has to turn the sport into something political. She mistakenly believes it is her wheelhouse. But, I do feel we can forgive this because, lets face it, her demagoguery has created a nice little niche market for her. Something along the lines of what Huey Long and Charles Manson were able to create, mindless followers who fed off negative filth. Ugly people only have ugly words. If one her biggest complaints is that is is foreign, then please, she needs to give up on her conservatism. Any good conservative knows the basic foundation was founded from the likes of Edmund Burke and he was foreign. Not to mention Ayn Rand...yep she was RUSSIAN which means she was FOREIGN. Not to mention our good old Democratic government. Yep, a foreign idea as well.
She ends her little ditty with a gem of a quote, "No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer." Ms. Coulter is false, totally false and pompous and 100% ignorant. (again why syndication??) I am as American as they come. I am also an athlete and here is what I can tell you, which is the truth. Again, I apologize because this is where I am going to get emotional. There was nothing more American than watching my American team fight. They fought from a bad position, from an underdog status. Nothing screams USA like overcoming the shit thrown at you and rising above it to succeed. Those 23 men, they exude what it means to be an American. Being able to watch some of my favorite players come home and fight with glory, defiance and pride for our country is something I more than cherish. I am American, and I am bursting with pride for Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Jermaine Jones, Fabian Johnson, Michael Bradley, Jozy Altidore, Aron Johannsson, Kyle Bekerman, Mix Diskerud, Chris Wondolowski, DaMarcus Beasely, DeAndre Yedlin, Graham Zusi, Omar Gonzalez, Geoff Cameron, Brad Davis, Timothy Chandler, Alejandro Bedyoa, Matt Besler, Brad Guzan, John Brooks, Julian Green, and Nick Rimando. If Ms. Coulter can not muster the goodwill to have respect then she should do what my mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, then DO NOT say anything at all." I am just gonna say....GO USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Transcending #Blessed
If you know me, the fact that I absolutely hate "#blessed" is not new. Aside from the fact it is a humble-brag in its most basic form, it is also the implication that a higher power chose you over countless billions to bestow some sort of greatness or a general good feeling. You are "oh so lucky" to have something others do not. In addition to this unfortunate trend, another thing that really grinds my gears (If I can take a page from Peter Griffin I will any day!) is the obsessive talk about diets, non-diets, work-outs and non-work-outers. You know the ones who either state, "OMG am totally going gluten free/vegan/paleo/clean eating, to lose weight and get healthy!" Or the, "Totally ran 6 miles, then did bikram yoga, now I can't wait to swim 5 miles. #Tri-athleteforever!" Then the ever present, "I totally love my body, why would I waste time working out when I can spend hours cuddling under a blanket fort with Jack and Jill!"
What all this probably relates down to is every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally feeling the need to update the world on every poo, snack, push-up or church service attended. Despite the fact that it also implies, in a passive-aggressive way that what you are doing is better than others, for me it goes deeper. I consider myself pretty reasonable and laid back. I eat what ever I want within reason. I work out, unless something fun comes up. I am not one to care what other people think of me, ahem, apparently after this blog that point is moot. But, what I am trying to sum up, is that we are so anxious about what we are doing and why we are doing it, it drives little ol' pragmatic me absolutely nuts. In not knowing why this was driving me nuts, per usual routine, I self-reflect on it. It has to be something wrong with me, I am the common denominator = Me as the problem. But then, as I read the greatest article written in a long time an idea struck me.
http://theweek.com/article/index/263639/i-went-undercover-to-find-out-why-people-do-crossfit
You see, as someone who has always struggled to "fit into things" because I am rather large, physically and personality wise, I just stopped trying and started to count my #blessings for all that is good. It as been amazing. Part of doing that required me to figure out my general preferences in life and learning about what I believe and why. This might sound condescending, but part of doing that was realizing that the largess of our world transcends anything even remotely related to us. The little tiny human beings on a giant world, with billions of other tiny little human beings, making said giant world smaller by the day. Aside from the stark realization that our actions do in fact have a reaction that definitely effects others, in the grand scheme of things we are completely insignificant when we act alone. So why the anxiousness? Why no moderation?
This my friends is what bothers me. You see I have a dirty little secret that I learned years ago from one of my favorite professors. When I say I transcend modern day politics, I truly transcend modern day politics. My confession is that the giant conservative streak that runs deep inside me desperately clings to moderation and tradition. Not in the sense that I actually believe gay marriage is bad, or that it is any of my business what my neighbor lady does with her who-ha. Totally socially liberal. It is my pragmatic nature that just wants people to chill out, just be. This could be my crippling inability to deal with other people's anxiety, but dudes....just chill out. Do what humans always do and survive.
What I am saying, if you are lactose intolerant, just cut out dairy. No need to go full paleo. Clean eating? What the hell does that even mean? I hope you are washing your fruits and veggies, even they are organic. Is that what it is implying? Or folks, could it be someone branding a term to make money off you? How about we say, we are cooking the traditional way with whole ingredients, just like my mom or grandma used to do.We are so anxious to be on trend, on point that our anxiety seeps through our pours. If you furiously trying to obtain a beach body, awesome, but how many people are going to notice? How many strangers and why? If you do not want a beach body, then go put on your swim suit and quite bitching about how free you are feeling about your post baby body. See above comments about the person who only eats chicken breasts and drinks water to obtain the beach body. Who is going to care? Why do we care about what strangers think anyways? I am going to drink my wine with another hunk of cheese on gasp! a french baguette, probably followed up by escargot soaked in butter.
I swear on all that is holy, if we can't just relax and accept we are in for a world of hurt. Happiness and acceptance comes through us. Not a specific workout your cousin Vinny told you to do. Not a diet touted to clear up every problem you have ever experienced. The world is best experienced through living and trying. Try everything once, do everything once. Do not let the anxiety of fads or trendy social ventures get to you. If wine gives you a headache, it is simple, just do not drink it. But damn girl, we can still go out for a margarita! (Or tea if guess if you do not drink) If you think someone is watching you, I guarantee they are not. Do not let insecurities rule your world and most of all instead of counting and displaying your blessings, be gracious and grateful. Just do not deprive yourselves of things that give you joy and do not rely on cheap gimmicks to ease your pain. I understand very clearly that the world gray, but there are something that are just black and white. The world is hard enough without us making it harder for ourselves.
What all this probably relates down to is every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally feeling the need to update the world on every poo, snack, push-up or church service attended. Despite the fact that it also implies, in a passive-aggressive way that what you are doing is better than others, for me it goes deeper. I consider myself pretty reasonable and laid back. I eat what ever I want within reason. I work out, unless something fun comes up. I am not one to care what other people think of me, ahem, apparently after this blog that point is moot. But, what I am trying to sum up, is that we are so anxious about what we are doing and why we are doing it, it drives little ol' pragmatic me absolutely nuts. In not knowing why this was driving me nuts, per usual routine, I self-reflect on it. It has to be something wrong with me, I am the common denominator = Me as the problem. But then, as I read the greatest article written in a long time an idea struck me.
http://theweek.com/article/index/263639/i-went-undercover-to-find-out-why-people-do-crossfit
You see, as someone who has always struggled to "fit into things" because I am rather large, physically and personality wise, I just stopped trying and started to count my #blessings for all that is good. It as been amazing. Part of doing that required me to figure out my general preferences in life and learning about what I believe and why. This might sound condescending, but part of doing that was realizing that the largess of our world transcends anything even remotely related to us. The little tiny human beings on a giant world, with billions of other tiny little human beings, making said giant world smaller by the day. Aside from the stark realization that our actions do in fact have a reaction that definitely effects others, in the grand scheme of things we are completely insignificant when we act alone. So why the anxiousness? Why no moderation?
This my friends is what bothers me. You see I have a dirty little secret that I learned years ago from one of my favorite professors. When I say I transcend modern day politics, I truly transcend modern day politics. My confession is that the giant conservative streak that runs deep inside me desperately clings to moderation and tradition. Not in the sense that I actually believe gay marriage is bad, or that it is any of my business what my neighbor lady does with her who-ha. Totally socially liberal. It is my pragmatic nature that just wants people to chill out, just be. This could be my crippling inability to deal with other people's anxiety, but dudes....just chill out. Do what humans always do and survive.
What I am saying, if you are lactose intolerant, just cut out dairy. No need to go full paleo. Clean eating? What the hell does that even mean? I hope you are washing your fruits and veggies, even they are organic. Is that what it is implying? Or folks, could it be someone branding a term to make money off you? How about we say, we are cooking the traditional way with whole ingredients, just like my mom or grandma used to do.We are so anxious to be on trend, on point that our anxiety seeps through our pours. If you furiously trying to obtain a beach body, awesome, but how many people are going to notice? How many strangers and why? If you do not want a beach body, then go put on your swim suit and quite bitching about how free you are feeling about your post baby body. See above comments about the person who only eats chicken breasts and drinks water to obtain the beach body. Who is going to care? Why do we care about what strangers think anyways? I am going to drink my wine with another hunk of cheese on gasp! a french baguette, probably followed up by escargot soaked in butter.
I swear on all that is holy, if we can't just relax and accept we are in for a world of hurt. Happiness and acceptance comes through us. Not a specific workout your cousin Vinny told you to do. Not a diet touted to clear up every problem you have ever experienced. The world is best experienced through living and trying. Try everything once, do everything once. Do not let the anxiety of fads or trendy social ventures get to you. If wine gives you a headache, it is simple, just do not drink it. But damn girl, we can still go out for a margarita! (Or tea if guess if you do not drink) If you think someone is watching you, I guarantee they are not. Do not let insecurities rule your world and most of all instead of counting and displaying your blessings, be gracious and grateful. Just do not deprive yourselves of things that give you joy and do not rely on cheap gimmicks to ease your pain. I understand very clearly that the world gray, but there are something that are just black and white. The world is hard enough without us making it harder for ourselves.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Wow...I Can't Believe She Said That: Every Four Years....GO USA!!!
Wow...I Can't Believe She Said That: Every Four Years....GO USA!!!: There are few things in life that we as a society are not forced to consume, be exposed to, or generally jammed down our throats. Poli...
Every Four Years....GO USA!!!
There are few things in life that we as a society are not forced to consume, be exposed to, or generally jammed down our throats. Politics being one of the main offenders, our consumer culture and object of the ever present "15 Minutes of Fame." In our country Baseball lasts April to October (though I can't complain about that one), NBA from end of October until June, the NHL October through at least April, and the dreaded NFL (the one I actually despise) from August to January. I am not sure about NASCAR or Golf, but it seems they are on almost every weekend. Every four years we have the winter Olympics, the summer Olympics, the America's Cup, and the World Cup. For many of us, those moments are magical.
In the Olympics, you have mostly amateur athletes who have dedicated their lives to a sport they will received little glory in, after the competition is over. It is a moment for America to stand with pride behind these individuals as they fight on in the name of honor for our country, the most important if only accolade they will receive. The America's Cup an event for rich people, attractive mostly to the few who understand the excitement, concepts, and intensity of sailboat racing. But the World Cup. The World Cup is the WORLDS foremost sporting event. Revered by soccer loving nations everywhere. Now if you are a soccer loving American, it is easy to follow your teams, leagues and favorite players with minimal effort, but you still have to make an effort. It is not like you can turn on Fox, NBC, ABC or even ESPN on a Sunday morning and see the La Liga or the Bundesliga. The MLS might be featured on your local station, but if you live in Chicago and want to see the Seattle Sounders play LA Galaxy, you have to make an effort to make that happen. So, I am going to implore two simple things of you, my fellow Americans.
First and foremost, these games are on ESPN, ESPN2, they are available channels on almost every television set in every bar in America. Like almost every other sporting fan in this nation, soccer fans love to watch their game with a cold beer in hand. Did I mention this only happens every four years?? So please just give us one television set with volume in your humble establishment. If our crowd outnumbers the space, give us two television sets and we will reward you in the form of payment for excessive beer drinking and an atmosphere of merriment, especially if our team is winning. Please, have mercy and patience for all of our cheers and shouts of, "OOOHHHS!", "AHHHHHS!", "OOOOMMMMGGGS!" or "YYYEYEEEAAAHHH" and in general any loud noises we make because, this is the World Cup! We patiently wait through every NFL season listening to the same things. Please do not act offended or scared because we are making loud noises...This has been pent up for four years! You can catch the golf scores later, we can turn it to the baseball game at halftime so you get the highlights. This only happens every 4 years!!
The second and final thing is to remember that we are Americans and unfortunately more partisan and nasty than ever. We have team and a pretty decent one this year. We are the nation of underdogs in this sport. The US loves an underdog, lets get behind these boys. They are unlike most professional athletes we are used to seeing. They don't make millions, very few have endorsement deals and the ones that do are not as lucrative as other sports or soccer players form around the world. These guys play for love of the sport and are representing our great country. This is the month that we show our appreciation for the great U.S.A! Lets get behind our boys!
So please, when you are sitting there bashing soccer, just remember this is our one month out of four years. Please have pity on our lot as we embark on the one of the greatest months in our sporting repertoire. When you get "scared" by our random shouts of ecstasy or despair, just remember what it feels like when the Packers win or lose, or your emotional investment in the Chicago Blackhawks. Most of all, give our boys a shot. They play today at 5pm central standard time. They have worked hard and deserve for everyone to stop for a second and check them out. They play Ghana the team that knocked them out of the tournament 4 years ago. The game was ugly, brutal and the boys played their hearts out. Most importantly it is an opportunity for us citizens to get behind a team that can unite us again, if only for 90 minutes. No US politics in soccer. We are one country, one team! Go U.S.A!!!!!
In the Olympics, you have mostly amateur athletes who have dedicated their lives to a sport they will received little glory in, after the competition is over. It is a moment for America to stand with pride behind these individuals as they fight on in the name of honor for our country, the most important if only accolade they will receive. The America's Cup an event for rich people, attractive mostly to the few who understand the excitement, concepts, and intensity of sailboat racing. But the World Cup. The World Cup is the WORLDS foremost sporting event. Revered by soccer loving nations everywhere. Now if you are a soccer loving American, it is easy to follow your teams, leagues and favorite players with minimal effort, but you still have to make an effort. It is not like you can turn on Fox, NBC, ABC or even ESPN on a Sunday morning and see the La Liga or the Bundesliga. The MLS might be featured on your local station, but if you live in Chicago and want to see the Seattle Sounders play LA Galaxy, you have to make an effort to make that happen. So, I am going to implore two simple things of you, my fellow Americans.
First and foremost, these games are on ESPN, ESPN2, they are available channels on almost every television set in every bar in America. Like almost every other sporting fan in this nation, soccer fans love to watch their game with a cold beer in hand. Did I mention this only happens every four years?? So please just give us one television set with volume in your humble establishment. If our crowd outnumbers the space, give us two television sets and we will reward you in the form of payment for excessive beer drinking and an atmosphere of merriment, especially if our team is winning. Please, have mercy and patience for all of our cheers and shouts of, "OOOHHHS!", "AHHHHHS!", "OOOOMMMMGGGS!" or "YYYEYEEEAAAHHH" and in general any loud noises we make because, this is the World Cup! We patiently wait through every NFL season listening to the same things. Please do not act offended or scared because we are making loud noises...This has been pent up for four years! You can catch the golf scores later, we can turn it to the baseball game at halftime so you get the highlights. This only happens every 4 years!!
The second and final thing is to remember that we are Americans and unfortunately more partisan and nasty than ever. We have team and a pretty decent one this year. We are the nation of underdogs in this sport. The US loves an underdog, lets get behind these boys. They are unlike most professional athletes we are used to seeing. They don't make millions, very few have endorsement deals and the ones that do are not as lucrative as other sports or soccer players form around the world. These guys play for love of the sport and are representing our great country. This is the month that we show our appreciation for the great U.S.A! Lets get behind our boys!
So please, when you are sitting there bashing soccer, just remember this is our one month out of four years. Please have pity on our lot as we embark on the one of the greatest months in our sporting repertoire. When you get "scared" by our random shouts of ecstasy or despair, just remember what it feels like when the Packers win or lose, or your emotional investment in the Chicago Blackhawks. Most of all, give our boys a shot. They play today at 5pm central standard time. They have worked hard and deserve for everyone to stop for a second and check them out. They play Ghana the team that knocked them out of the tournament 4 years ago. The game was ugly, brutal and the boys played their hearts out. Most importantly it is an opportunity for us citizens to get behind a team that can unite us again, if only for 90 minutes. No US politics in soccer. We are one country, one team! Go U.S.A!!!!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Someone to always Remember
Today Maya Angelou died. Not only was an American icon lost, but an incredible person who brought hope and courage to many will never pick up another pen or sooth an audience with the sound of her voice and sage wisdom. It is a sad, yet beautiful spring day full of abundance, re-birth, and conviction, similar to many of Ms. Angelou's works and quotes. Yet, the appearance of the sun cannot heal the mournful nature of the day alone, nor grasp the life so lived in fullness as hers. Maya Angelou is irreplaceable. Sadly, she was remained one of the last peaceful mentors of our world who could move seamlessly from one group of people to the next. She transcended politics, petty words and remained confident in the face of adversity. Most importantly, above all, she championed diversity.
The definition of diversity, according to Merriam-Webster is as follows;
The definition of diversity, according to Merriam-Webster is as follows;
: the quality or state of having many different forms, types, ideas, etc.
: the state of having people who are different races or who have different cultures in a group or organization
For Maya Angelou diversity was something to be embraced, "In diversity there is beauty and there is strength." The profound empathy this single quote musters inside amazes me. It also saddens me. I am sad because we needed Maya Angelou to live forever. In a world so hounded by hate, vengeance and greed it has become something of an anomaly to have such a profound voice as hers. In a world where we find it impossible to forgive or accept, her calm demeanor will be sorely missed. Lastly, in a world where we find it so hard to put into words anything meaningful, positive, or loving about someone different, Maya Angelou's grace and intelligence desperately needs to be remembered.
In honor of Ms. Angelou lets embrace diversity. Lets find it in our heart to accept different people, different ideas, and different things in general. Accept them for who they are, what they are, and what they represent. Lets figure out a way to work together again without anger and accept the challenge of coming to productive solutions. We are a country of diversity, we are a world of diversity. It is nothing to fear. When we fear the truth we close ourselves off from all the beauty that is around us. With news of this sad passing, with the loss of another great one, we will always remember her brightness.
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