Giving Up the Gun

There is a Vampire Weekend song from a few years ago that I just absolutely love. Anytime it comes on, it consumes me. Therefore it is on my running playlist, workout playlist, chilling out playlist, and party playlist. So when it came on in my car on a long drive to Minnesota a few weeks ago, I took the moment, turned up the volume and of course karaoked it, loud. Imagine my surprise when at 7 am, having driven 2.5 hours already, I came to the realization that I was getting the point of that song totally wrong all these years. In this time period in my life, when 2016 just keeps knocking me down, I realized that Giving Up the Gun isn't about fading glory but trying to reclaim a piece of yourself that you may have forgotten or gave up along the way. It is about forgetting who we are in this world and about who we become in order to survive, thrive, or claw our way up. I hit repeat and sure enough, "Your sword's grown old and rusty, Burnt beneath the rising sun, It's locked up like a trophy, Forgetting all the things it's done."

After months of not only outright rejection, but of also not even being acknowledged, it is hard to not feel like the person in the song. "And though it's been a long time, You're right back where you started from." How can my eyes not get a little watery? Despite it being a lot teenager-esque in nature, here it felt like Ezra Koenig was singing right into my soul. But once this realization came, so did a lot more, mainly I just do what I am doing anymore. I metaphorically cannot play this game like everyone else does, with a gun. I need a different tool, something I am good at, something I have had success with in the past. Whatever my "sword" is, it must be very corroded. I also can't figure it out or find it, like our fireproof safe key when I hid it in the sub woofer and forgot that is where I put it. So despite the helpful comments from friends and family, you know those pesky things I need to work on that I can't seem to drop like bad habits no matter how hard I try because I think they are just a part of me. Like, needing to be lest honest, less outspoken, swear less, sell myself better, "use my network," work harder, and societies general screw you to women, you know prettier, thinner, quieter, and soft-spoken and despite years of trying to be different, it just is not me.

I tried at age 19 to be better, to be awesome, to be the thing that was needed and I failed miserably. I spent the rest of my early twenties proving that the failure was fine and I could just do everything on my own and I was really good at that. I never missed rent, or tuition payments, and I was always able to buy my books. I did that for a majority of my twenties, until the crazed maniac I ended up working for finally got to me. Then I spent the rest of my twenties trying to prove that I was smart, despite being a loud mouthed blonde. And I did it again by getting a masters degree while still working, though I had a safety net called Ed to fall back on. Ever since then, because I am what I am (unappealing to the professional world), I just do what people have been expecting. Work. Jobs, any jobs. And for what? So, now here I am back at square one and I am ready to give up the gun, because in truth, it is not what I am good at and I want that to be OK.

Because, this whole time I have done so many cool things most people will never get to do, nor want to do (and that is also OK, we have choices). I learned, and am still learning, to sail. Subsequently I have traversed Lake Michigan the long way 6 and a half times, with a few storms. I have sailed in Key West, Lake Dillon, CO during a "micro-burst", the Chesapeake Bay in a hurricane, and most recently amazing Antigua. I have been trying to explore the world one place at a time and have been lucky enough to even repeat visits to some of my favorite places. I have met people from all over the world. I can make friends in so many places I go, it is not for lack of emotional intelligence (or my fatal flaws according to American and the puritanical midwest) on my part, nor survival skills. I have gotten to go to some awesome music festivals, with some awesome people, and have been included in some pretty cool events. There is this whole giant world out there that turns and goes through the same hours and minutes as our day. While I am eating lunch at 1 pm here, someone in Sydney, Australia is sleeping or just getting up for a really early morning at work tomorrow. In Amsterdam someone is putting their kids to bed and in Reykjavik someone is just sitting down for dinner.

 These experiences and thoughts are of such insignificant nature in our society, that it is clear that not only am I using the wrong tool, I am probably using it improperly, and more so my wiring is not apparently not right. And I get it, it is where all the well intended advice comes from. My friends and family want me to succeed, they want me to use the tool that they have been successfully wielding, it is just I am expected to start all over again, again, and again. We are supposed to grateful for any opportunity no matter what it is and that we get what we deserve, and deserve what we get good or bad. But, the world turns and it just feels like it does not have to be that way. We have agency but our system makes it so that we are mostly dependent on other people's actions or inaction's and superficial judgements. So I just want to take a step in the opposite direction. It is probably the wrong thing to do, because of my nature I seem to do the wrong thing anyway. I am too honest, but I can't play games because I am too competitive and that also hasn't worked well for me so...... I need to find my own tool, the thing I can use to find my place in this world. Then and only then can I hopefully "shine" in my way.

My Sisters and My Sisters

     Lucky is definitely how I would describe myself in terms of my family. I have not one, not two, but three amazing sisters. Three automatic best friends who have to love me because they are family. I kid :) We get a long great (as adults) and I am thankful for our relationship with each other every day. It is also the template I use in all of my relationships with other women, which is great and sucky at the same time. I have also been lucky enough to be a teammate to some amazing women, and those relationships can at times be astonishingly similar to having sisters and I find myself being doubly lucky to be able to pick up contact with them like we haven't gone a month without talking. We have been through a lot together. Literal blood, sweat, and tears....as well team showers and team bathroom breaks (wink wink). It is another template I use to navigate my relationships with other women, it is also great and also sucky. What is awesome about getting older is that I can start to see the forest for the trees in so many of my relationships and it doesn't make hard or hurt feelings or regret any better, but at least I can understand a little more. That not everything is due to my own shortcomings. You see, I go in with intensity, I stay in it with intensity, I love fiercely, and I forget failings in rapid succession (which drives my amazing husband crazy). It makes me take things so personally. It used to be hard for me to understand that obviously people are different, so not everyone does this, and it is further exacerbated by the 3 women and old teammates that constantly have my back because they have seen me at my worst, be it my emotional worst, or my worst towards them. I have made amends with them and they with me so many times all we have left of our relationships is truth and love and that is truly something to be grateful for. However, it makes navigating my adult relationships, relationships I hold so dear to my heart, a little trickier. Feelings are difficult, situation are complex, and the dynamics are effected by outside stressors. The relationships are just baby plants still trying to grow. They can be turned off by my worst, offended by my perceived slights of character, or just looking for an out.

    

So, I felt like I needed to write this because I see so many articles, posts, memes, or screeds about how it is OK to move on from friendships, that we out-grow each other, etc....We see on TV how often women treat each horribly from the Real Housewife franchise, to dramas, to celebrity news. We experience it in real life still unfortunately. One of my good guy friends often starts his advise by saying, "There is no one more awful to women than other women." Not only do I want this to be untrue, I want to live the exact opposite. It is why I give a wide berth to drama, it is why I can forgive my friends for almost any perceived offense (even if it is a courtesy not afforded to me), it is why I try so hard to treat my girlfriends like they are my sisters or teammates. It is why I fight for my relationships and will continue to do so. I have been through so many fun times, so many not just hard but horrible times, so many milestones with so many women that there is nothing I can do but fight for my friendships. The hard part about friendship as adults is that we can only hope that the other person feels the same way and that can be heartbreaking. 

A new friend of mine who is a bit younger is going through one of the worst times in a young woman's life. It might sound melodramatic, but, when all of your friends are getting married and/or having kids and you are not, it is the time when you start to get left behind. I have been lucky to have a few "older" friends give me the advice to hang in there, that yeah it gets really shitty and really really hurtful for most of your thirties, but in your forties, some of those friends come back. And look, no one ever expect to be as important as a husband or kid, but it does not make the pill any easier to swallow. I will hang in there because I refuse to believe that all of my friends who are on a different life path are suddenly a totally different person and we no longer have anything in common. It is an asinine notion to me that someone I was drinking wine with 2 years ago no longer likes that, someone who shared a meal with me a year ago, no longer likes to eat. That our mutual investment of time and  love into each other was cheap and not priceless. And hey I get it, it might be asinine for me to actually think we still have things in common when things change in our life, but I do not want believe everything we shared has been in vain. I do not believe that people come in and our of our lives for a purpose then leave. Some do, but relationships where time has been invested, love shared, experiences had, those can last a lifetime. Or at least, I would love for them to last a lifetime. So, I told my friend to hang in there, that it will hurt and your hurt feelings will not be acknowledged. But, are you willing to brush it off in hopes that you can salvage what you hold dear and persevere through this period of time?

These three!!

    We give up so much in our lives. We waste time doing things that in the grand scheme do not really matter. None of the time we give to others should ever be a waste and maybe we need to get rid of this idea that people, like material objects, are disposable because I try (I might fail but I try) to make all of my friends feel like they are more than worthy of my time and love. It is something I have spent years working on, something I hold very high in value. That might not mean anything to some people, but I do know it important, so I will keep trying. I will keep fighting for my friendships, old and new. I will continue to NOT be overwhelmed by having many friends, because I do not see that as a burden, I see it as a gift. We do have a lot to give, sometimes we will not receive just compensation, but sometimes we will not be able to give back what others gave us. We need to stop expecting perfection from friendships, but be grateful for what that other person is offering us, because we cannot always offer the same. Sometimes we need to wait, sometimes we will be put on the back burner (despite our own problems), sometimes we need to be there and other times we need to give space. But, offering yourself to another person is never a waste of time. There are so many forms of love, I want all of my family and friends to feel that there is at least one person out there who will be there. Because I am lucky enough to feel that from my three sisters and because, my friends, you are all also my sisters.

*I tried to pick pictures where my everyone looks awesome....it was hard. I also missed a ton of new and old amazing friends that I have had the pleasure of spending the past few years with, but a certain someone complains that my posts are too long-

The Fear

     Because too many of our national leaders are not talking about this productively and because this is my country and I am tired of their effect on it, I decided to write this post. Because I am tired that the people of this nation continually have their emotions and fears exploited, I decided to write this post. Because I am tired of this default rhetoric and the fact that it helps absolutely nothing, ever, I am writing this post. Because Brussels and all of Belgium and all of Europe need our support and not impotent bluster, I am writing this post. Because I stand with the people of this world against TERRORISM and ISIS, I am writing this post. But, most of all, because too many of our national leaders continually fail at moving forward with a solution and because they are too busy assigning blame on a religion and not on people, I decided to write this post.

       First of all, when people lose their life to gun violence in the United States, strong advocates of the second amendment are quick to point out that guns do not kill people, people kill people. Semantics, shemantics right. So, a religion is not a living object either, so is it not right then to say Islam does not kill people, people kill people. That is all these terrorist are, plain old people. Cowardly people, but people none the less, who are co-opting and perverting a religion. So when Mr. Cruz blows hard making sure we denounce them and their religion and "cracking down" on all the other people with the same religion, how come we do not do the same things to people who own guns in this country when a "radical gun owner" decides to go postal on their workplace?

       Secondly, I stand with Belgium, and France, and Germany, and all of Europe. What ISIS is attacking is our ability to live in an open and free society. They want people to cower in fear, there is nothing else they can do but threaten fear. They cannot fight fair, they cannot withstand attacks, and they most certainly cannot win a fight against a real military. What happened today was an attack on our open and democratic society it must not be made into a platform for the exploitation of fear. If we, everyone in our civilized society, stand together they cannot make us cower in fear and they lose their power. Because fear is a powerful thing. By Mr. Trump and Mr. Cruz calling for division and exploiting people's fears they are doing the work for ISIS. Fear is their main objective, emotionally and mentally immature will fall for it, and demagogues will mistakenly think they can corral that fear into power. Fear will be our downfall. 

      I will never cower in fear. I will continue to travel this world either alone, with my husband and you bet I will continue to encourage my friends to take trips with me. During the Paris attacks I was in Scotland, during 9/11 I was 6 hours away from my family freshman year of college in an unfamiliar city, and my husband and I were in downtown Sydney 10 days after the 2014 attack. It does not matter what the incident is, terrorism will  never stifle my need to see the world or connect with new people. They will never conquer my need to live, they will never make me cower in fear, and most of all, they will never ever cause me to turn on my fellow man who are innocent. They will never cause me to turn my back on people in need just because I am fearful. Their actions will never cease my will to see the world and they will never in a million years make me fear living in our open and democratic society. Terrorist can and will be defeated. When we stand together, strong and united, their power is greatly diminished. When we focus on their real intent, which has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with fear and power, we come closer to a real plan to defeat them. Because what they are attacking is our civilization, not our religion or lack their of, but our way of life. To live in fear is to submit and that is not something I am willing to do and I ask you all to do the same.

    

Wino Wednesdays

       I usually save my Wednesday's for the mid-week feelings of self-loathing and despair. You know it is almost Thursday, one day from Friday and the freedom of the weekend. It is where you see that all your efforts from Monday and Tuesday have not paid off and it feels like you are back at square one. The Joe vs the Volcano rat race us Americans absolutely adore, the safety and drudgery of the day to day grind is at its peak. I am pretty sure it is the reason Wino Wednesday's were invented, it is the perfect self-loathing drink. It makes you feel intelligent and sophisticated when you are not, increasing your confidence for the remainder of the week. You might go to work hungover on Thursday but, damn it, there was a break through last night and as you swished that wine in your mouth, trying to find all the floral and fruity notes, you thought to yourself, "I am better than this" and off you went back to the grind Thursday morning. Rejuvenated from the bullshit you were able to feed yourself the night before about actually being able to taste the floral and fruity notes. But, not today my friends. This Wednesday I find myself full of incredulity.

in·cre·du·li·ty

ˌinkrəˈd(y)o͞olədē/
noun
noun: incredulity
the state of being unwilling or unable to believe something.



     It is a feeling we all know too well. In fact my brother-in-law and I often go round and round about our incredulous feelings about how someone so dumb could be so rich, or how so many people in Chicago apparently make shit-loads of money when they can't even parallel park their G-Wagon or drive properly. The fact that an 18/19 year old reality star makes so much money simply off her name she is trying to trademark it despite a visible lack of any real talent. You know, those little things that are so contradictory it drives you insane. The amazing guy with a basic woman, the amazing woman with an asshole of a guy, the amazing ability of your chronically unemployed neighbor, who still drinks milk from a carton, to go about life like he is even remotely normal. All of it is just so hard to believe sometimes, it honestly makes me wonder if I am slowly going insane. The kind where you do not know you are crazy, like Leo ala Shutter Island.

      Just today for example, my husband told me that at his work they remodeled a floor of offices and did not replace the garbage cans at the desks. Apparently they just throw the garbage on the floor, I found this concept insane...according to him I am in the minority. A girl pulled over with over 100 pounds of marijuana in her car, along with countless edibles, only given 2 years probation and a thousand dollar fine. Trump and Cruz are the leading Republican nominees. I mean for God's sake, The Bachelor is actually still on air and the Real Housewives are still a thing. The list goes on and on and on. All of this is compounded by ridiculous Facebook posts and other social media platforms where we are not even humble bragging anymore but out right bragging and people love it. They eat it up. I truly believe some days that I am just not meant for these times. Everything is taken to the extreme and has high stakes consequences all with little meaning.

       We are not living in reality in any sense of the word. I am tired of wading around in the shallow end of the pool, but it is easier to keep the masses there. I am incredulous about all the above, but also at the idea that it is easier for us to be so flippant about our world it sometimes feels like we are living in a Cringe Comedy movie. I think back 20 years and Jerry Seinfeld hit the nail on the head, people want a show about nothing, it is such a metaphor for life. It is not that things have to necessarily be heavy or deep all the time, but if you truly believe in a higher power or karma you should be worried. Because it feels like the inmates are running the asylum and they are getting rewarded on top of it and it is because we are drawn into the crappiness of all of it.

         I am incredulous because there are so many amazing things happening each day that should the in our periphery. Real kids who are changing the world like the student protesters who are being continually assaulted at Trump rallies, real moms/wives starting and running amazing businesses from the ground up. Legit politicians who are still trying to do the right thing for the people, socially responsible companies, activist investors. People who care, people who have real talent, people who matter silently walking behind all of this and pick up the garbage that is thrown on the floor and the least we could do is see them. It would be awesome if we attach the real value to celebrity. It would be awesome if our criminal justice system was fair to everyone. It would be down right morally up-lifting if our economy worked the way it was meant to. We may complain about our political system, but it starts with us. Everything comes back to us, what do we consume and why. I am simply here today to say that I am tired of consuming what is offered in the shallow end of the pool. I am swimming for deeper waters because that is where so many of us belong and what we deserve. So please, let put the inmates back in their cages where they belong. Lets stop consuming their BS.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/king-not-long-killed-trump-rally-article-1.2549868

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/feb/29/kylie-minogue-jenner-trademark-first-name-kardashians

Perspective

       So, I know that the "open letter" by the chick from Yelp is almost a week old and the response from the bartender/writer lady went viral on Monday, and there has been many other accompanying articles, but the all are missing something. So, I also keep reading the comments on all the articles about this subject trying to find it and am just appalled by the mindset of so many people in the country. It pains me especially because they all are missing the one thing that could turn their arguments into solution. That one thing is perspective.

        Everyone, and I mean everyone, has their own anecdotal story. The story about their own life, their own journey and the path they took, but it is just theirs. That is what makes it anecdotal. Nobody else has the experience and I am getting the sneaking suspicion that there may be something wrong with me, since I tend to see more than one side. It is not a "millennial" problem,  it is not a story of getting rewarded for hard work, it is not a story about a how bad corporations are, it is a story about the systematic failure of our economic system that has been trudging along this trajectory for at least 40 years. We can all find ways to work within this new framework, while simultaneously working for change. Some people have and are really good at it. Some people are not, and I will be the first to admit that, I guess I am just not good at it. Which is probably why I am more sympathetic to all sides of the argument.

        I have been working since the age of 11 and at the age of 33 I am making 100% less than I was at 25, and have varied somewhere between 0-60% in the intervening years. It is not because I do not want to work, but because I literally do not know how to make these "opportunities" or "chances" for myself like the bartender/writer lady. I am not inept, or lazy, or dumb, or entitled. I am pretty sure, despite applying for job after job everyday that I can even get someone to actually read my resume. I just do not have a family friend to pick me up when I am down. However, unlike the Yelp chick, I have always worked multiple jobs to support myself. Jobs I have not always enjoyed or been proud of, and I will have to do that again soon. Which takes away experience and wages I should be getting perpetuating this horrible career tilt-a-whirl I am on. So, I get how frustrating their stories are to each other. But it is not as easy as being one way or the other and like I said before it certainly has nothing to do with generational differences.

        Wages have been stagnating for years. Baby boomers cannot afford to retire or they cannot afford to give up their benefits. Gen-Xer's are stuck in middle management because of this with kids rapidly approaching college days that they cannot afford and many Millennials are in entry level jobs and cannot keep up with their cost of living which has dramatically increased in the past 2 decades. (I am 33 and yes when I started driving gas was still less than $1 a gallon in 2008 it was almost $4 a gallon.) I guess my point is that we are all get screwed by the current situation. I am relying on a robot to read my resume, you might be relying on that person that just won't retire to get a desperately needed promotion or raise, and your neighbor might only be working because they lost their retirement saving in the 2008 financial collapse. It is all a freaking tilt-a-whirl and I think we owe some grace to each other, if not a hand.

        So why this one-ups-man-ship about who is getting screwed over worse and why? Is it a corporations problem if the cost of living somewhere is unattainable in relation to their entry-level wages? Probably not. But, it is something we should be working to figure out instead of crapping on one another over who is better, works harder, or who has it worse. And scarily that seems to be a novel thought. It is one thing to give advice and support to someone struggling, and it is more than fair to give kudos to those are on the up and up, I am not sure why it has to be either or for everything in this country. From my perspective I just feel like we should be less inclined to constantly criticize or ignore our problems and more open to realizing that everyone has had different experiences, different opportunities and as a result a different path in front of them. Negative criticism begets nothing, positive criticism can result in an idea. But then again, I will probably get crucified for thinking differently than someone else. It is what we do best-

Recylced Arguements, Recycled Emotions

     I am a big proponent of emotions and feelings. In fact, I have a Spanish word similar to Passion tattooed on my left arm. In a world where cold hard technology is revered like a god, my love of the human condition we know as emotions grow with each passing day. It is amazing when you get the 'feels' or the overwhelming urge to burst with passion when you are doing something you love. I would like to believe that feelings make the world go round. All of that being well and good, however, there is also a time when relying on feelings and emotions can be, well, dangerous.

       For example, obviously dark, negative feelings do not always lead to good outcomes. Sometimes we let emotions cloud our judgements, not always a big deal at all, but when we let it course through our veins and let it consume us, then we have a problem. And I am here to tell you all, the Democratic Party has a problem. And, I am saying this as an undecided voter who is struggling to remain above her emotions to make the right decision in a few weeks. But listening to Bernie Sanders' supporters weep with euphoria in New Hampshire, I get the nagging suspicion that despite Laurel and Hardy-esque nature of the Republican Primary, the Democratic Party may end up screwing itself over, again...It seems, Democrats have now let emotions rule the day. People are offended, on both sides. When people are offended, especially Democrats all hell breaks loose.

          So, emotions how does this tie into the Democratic Primary race you ask?? Well it is simple, Bernie is definitely playing on emotions, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. He is passionately against wealth inequality, I think we all are. However, the biggest and worst mistake he is making hands down is letting his supporters attack Hillary Clinton personally and very emotionally and not just her policies. When millennials in New Hampshire were asked why they did not like Hillary they cited things like, how "establishment" she was, how big of a liar she is, how corrupt she is, how uncaring she is. Many women were resentful and offended at the fact that they felt pressured to vote for her because she was a woman and how off-putting it was that, because they both had V's, their V was nothing like Hillary's and how dare they suggest so. (I will admit, that is a clumsy stance not being snuffed out by Hillary's campaign.)

          So my honest question is, to both Bernie, and Hillary's campaign, where does that leave the Democratic Party after the primaries? How can you overcome the pure hatred directed towards Hillary in this campaign? The offense so many millennials feel towards Hillary? And I will admit, it is something I do not understand. It is not something I necessarily want to understand. I will also admit, the more Hillary is attacked for her personality, the alleged egregious acts she has been accused of committing by the Republican Party for years recycled over and over again, the more people move away from policy issues, the more I want to vote for her because she is fighting. She is fighting a battle on so many sides and now the one side who should be battling her for her policies, pushing her to go farther, are using the same emotional blackmail against her as well. It is slightly off-putting to hear young women in their twenties come out so anti-Hillary at such a primitive and gut level, I will say it again....where does that leave the party? I am just not sure you can get over those feelings and the Democratic leadership should be scared. Bernie Sanders should say something because it leaves us with a scary scenario. Hillary Clinton wins the primary, Michael Bloomberg jumps into the race as an Independent, all these people who aggressively despise Hillary Clinton just for being Hillary Clinton, vote for him and the next thing you know we are all watching President Trump's inauguration.

              Can we get past the feelings? Can we stop attacking someone as a liar, a cheat, or corrupt politician who has been playing the game like everyone, and I mean everyone, else? How about we say, "Well, I do not think she goes far enough when it comes to domestic policy in regards to healthcare." Instead of, "She is a lying bitch who takes money from the healthcare industry so who do you think she is going to be in favor of?"  Because at the very least, that is disingenuous logic and at the worst you are debasing a very legitimate candidate with emotional rhetoric that could have an after-effect you did not intend. So whom ever you are going to vote for, hows about we keep calm, passionately support our candidates in a constructive way and contribute to good stewardship of a democracy. Our country has a tendency to go off the rails and if you do not believe me, just look at the Republican Presidential primary.

Return of the Princess Who Drinks Wine: Won't Stop, Can't Stop

    There are so many awesome things happening this Saturday. My little sister's birthday, for one. The Polar Plunge fundraiser in Kenosha for a second thing. Mitten Fest in Milwaukee at Burnhearts for a third. But, the big one, the supposed international meet-up of the manosphere ridiculous MRA (Men's Rights Activists) group "Return of the Kings." (SCREECH) What? Yep, though most events have been allegedly cancelled due to the amazingly awesome amount of push back, the group planned an international meet-up in cities throughout the world. Now, I highly doubt these delusional anger-bombs who mistakenly blame women for all of their personal short-comings, actually cancelled their meetings. They probably have some super top secret way to contact each other that is only visible to those with an angry unused penis and idle hands and an over abundance of hurt feelings.

       I first heard about these "meetings" (possible circle jerks?) from the protests articles in Glasgow, then much to my surprise the local news (yep, they were going to meet up at the Brat Stop, where the Polar Plunge fundraiser was happening....super classy guys) and last night saw the petition to keep the leader Roosh V. out of Australia. Now, I do not think we should be stopping these meetings from happening, after all just because they hate women and advocate for legal rape (The supporters claim it was a satirical piece written by Mr. V, but it is disgusting even if satirical. How about I write a satirical piece about making it legal to cut-off a mans junk in order to stop rape all together. Is that funny? Is it funny to make a joke out of those who have been victimized?) doesn't mean that they can't get together and really see who their fellow women haters are. Or for us to see who they are as well. But that is besides the point, my point is to spread the fact that this group even exists and has followers all over the world. Because this my friends, is why I roll my eyes at the idiots who say feminism is bad word, and that feminism shouldn't exist anymore. This right here is why I am annoyed beyond no end for those who call women fighting for our right to exist in this society as equals, femi-nazis. This is why I want to point out that it is mostly anger spewing from people's mouths when a woman calls them out, zero recognition of a valid point. This is why I want to throat punch you when you call a woman crazy for stating her opinion, or over-emotional for being passionate about something.

    To further compile on the annoyance this week, the CDC announced that all women between the ages of 15-44 who are not on birth control should abstain from drinking. Their point?? The baby, OMG we can't hurt the hypothetical babies that don't exist. What I hear, "Hey ladies, because we think that you are that dumb and remember we always cater the lowest common denominator because yes, we still think all women have brains half the size of men (this is a female Dr. talking by the way) you should just abstain from drinking if you are not on birth control because you are too clearly dumb to figure out your cycle, know your bodies and more importantly make your own decisions about your own body and your own lives." Obviously my automatic response to this is wanting to go to Atlanta, stand outside the CDC building with a sign saying, "Hey Dr. Anne Shuchat! 33 here, proudly not on birth control, and boning like crazy" while I chug 40 ounce after 40 ounce of Negro Modelo. Because god forbid it is my choice which chemical and hormones I put into my body. Not to mention my mental capacity to figure out my cycle and plan accordingly must be totally mythical to them because come on women aren't that smart am I right?!?! Why not tell my husband to keep his hands to himself when?? Tell men to also stop drinking because most drunk men think they are horny, there boom problem solved. But God-forbid men ever get a "behavioral recommendation" that shames them in anyway. If they did they would all probably run to the MRAs screaming discrimination. But us, we have to be sober, keep our legs and mouths shut.

     These are two small examples of the assault on women's intelligence, right to peaceful co-existence, right to thrive and just in general what we have to put up with on weekly if not a daily basis. This is why I urge you to open your world view if you think feminism is such a bad word. Because what is truly to fear from treating women with the respect and equality we deserve? What is so offensive about women fighting for control over their own bodies and why do so many men and other women feel like it is their place to give their two cents? We do not owe anyone an explanation for our behavior, a right to our body or anything of the sort, especially reproductive systems. If you have wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, you should never want them to have to feel like they property, owned and controlled by someone else. We are more than just the lady parts we were born with, I am not sure why in 2016 that is so hard to comprehend.